


ANOTHER CHANCE (Divergent Story : After Allegiant)

by TrinitySA



Category: After Allegiant, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 36,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrinitySA/pseuds/TrinitySA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been 6 months since I have scattered her ashes while zip lining. After waking up to a nightmare of her again this morning, I start seeing her everywhere I look. </p><p>But am I dreaming when I stumble upon a girl that looks just like Tris……..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Acknowledgement

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Veronica Roth

All Divergent - Allegiant book characters belong to Veronica Roth. 

Mild use of strong language will be use throughout this story. Sexual content will also be in a few chapters. You are warned. 

This is my first attempt at a book as I am not happy at how Allegiant ended.

Hope you guys enjoy it and please vote and comment after each chapter. Some chapters are shorter than others. Most of this will by from Tobias/Four’s P.O.V, but some from Tris as well.

 

Enjoy

Diane

 


	2. Nightmare

_Tobias P.O.V._

“Urrgg, not again” I mumble to myself as I fall out of bed and sit on the floor with my head in my hands. I thought the nightmares were getting better, it has been 3 years since I lost her and 6 months since I scattered her ashes. I can seriously not take this anymore.

I look over at the clock on the nightstand and see it is 5:35 in the morning. No point in going back to bed now, I might as well get ready for the day. I walk to my in suite bathroom and take a long hot shower, trying to get my thoughts back on track.

Why is this happing now again? I still think about her everyday, but the nightmares have started to fade with time, just as Christina told me those many years ago. I cry a few tears in the shower as I remember her. God, I miss her so much. I am still single and doubt that I will date anyone soon.

I finish my shower, get out and get dressed, we have a meeting at the Hub later this morning and as I am Johanna’s assistant, I have to be there to aid her. Working for her has been a big change and I still sometimes feel like I am in a never-ending dream, hoping to wake up and have Tris in my arms. Once I am dressed, I head towards the kitchen and see the sun rise through the window, the rays hitting her urn that has been standing on my mantelpiece since we scattered her ashes.  

I tried to give the urn to Caleb as he was her last living relative, but he refused and said that it belonged to me as she loved me more than him. I go to and touch it, just to feel the cold of the metal against my hand. Next to it I placed the statue my mother gave me again after I moved here. I don’t have much regarding furniture in my house, only the necessary items to work with. I still have too much Abnegation in me to spend money on waste. I laugh as I think about Christina’s apartment, she really does love to shop.

Touching the statue made me think about my mother that is back in Chicago and some days it is still hard to believe we have a relationship. Might not be perfect and can be awkward at times, but we have come a long way since then. I am snapped out of my train of thoughts as someone slams their door across the hall. I head to the kitchen and get some coffee. Once I am done, I head out the door on my way to work, never checking the time before leaving.

Halfway to work, I realise that is very quiet for a Monday morning so I decide to check my watch.  _Shit!_  I am 3 hours early, so I decide to go to my office before I head to the meeting at the Hub.

As I walk down the street, I notice some people scurrying about on their way to work as well. The world has changed so much since the war, it still feel unreal some days as I walk through the streets of Chicago. People wear multi colours, as there are no more factions or their colours. There are no more “Faction before Blood”, so children can stay with there parents as long as they want. Some days I am happy that that wasn’t the way it was when I was growing up, I might not have had the chance to escape Marcus and that life. 

I am near my office building when I see this small girl walking on the other side of the road in tattered cloths. I can’t really see from where I am walking, but it looks like she is scared, as she keeps looking behind her. Her stance looks familiar and I realise that I looked like that when Marcus come towards me before beating me. As I walk on I see her falling to the ground and decide I might as well help her as there are not to many people on this street this time of the morning. As I start to cross the road, I stop dead in my tracks as I take a look at her.

 _God,_  she looks just like Tris, I think to myself. I stare at her for another moment and then mentally slap myself for thinking that. The damn dream I had this morning is not helping me today, especially as I am starting to see her wherever I go. I start towards her again and see her sitting up and looking around her. She looks so scared.

A few seconds later she turns to look in my direction and her eyes meet mine for a second and it feels like all the blood has been drained out of me. I feel so cold in that instance that I think I may never move again. Something tells me to run and I run the last few steps before she collapses in my arms, that is when I hear is whisper, “ Four?”, before she passes out in my arms.


	3. Unreal

_Tobias P.O.V._

I am still on the sidewalk with Tris in my arms. How in the name that all that is Holy is this happening to me? She is dead, no scratch that, she WAS dead. I can feel her faint heartbeat against my arm as I hold her. It must be her, she whispered my name before she fainted. I hope I wasn’t imagining that.

I sit there for a few more minutes before someone asks me if I need help, saying they saw what happened. I am snapped back to reality and tell them that it isn’t necessary. I pick her up, she is much lighter than the last time I held her in my arms and start towards my apartment. If she really is Tris and I am not dreaming, then I know her well enough to know that she won’t want me to take her to a hospital. Always so stubborn.

I get to my apartment and open the door just to kick it closed with my foot and not bothering to lock it. I set her down gently on my bed and take a look at her. What the hell happened to her? If I find the person that did this, I am going to murder them before they can say the word Tris. She is black and blue over 95% of her body, she is so skinny that she looks like a small child. Her hair is cropped of so short that is looks like she can be a boy.

I go to the bathroom and get my medical aid box from under the sink. I get a facecloth and a bowl of water and walk back to her. I start to clean her face and notice she is covered in cuts, bruises and mud. How is she alive? I scattered her ashes just 6 months ago, for Christ sakes!!! As a start to clean her wounds, I notice puncture marks on her neck and arms. God no!! They used serum on her! I notice she has dried blood under her finger nails as well. I shiver to think what she has gone through these past three years. Her time in Erudite seem like child's-play as to what she looks like now. I start to cry as I clean her as much as possible without bathing her. Her cloths are full of mud and twigs, but I really don’t care about the bed or anything at the moment.

I hear my phone ring while I am cleaning her, I set the facecloth down in the water where it turns brown and red from the dirt and blood and head to the phone. I answer it, “Hello?”

“Hey Tobias, it’s Mabel.” she says. She is Johanna’s Secretary.

“Hey Mabel, what can I do for you?” I ask her, only just remembering that I had a meeting at the Hub this morning.

“Shit, I forgot about the meeting” I tell her.

“Are you alright Tobias, you sound bad? Anything I can help with?” she asks me. I only just realise that I am still crying and my voice sounds like I have the flu or something.

“Yeah, can you perhaps tell Johanna to get James in my place for the meeting and that I am going to take some time off. She keeps bugging me to take some personal time, I think I might take that now, if you will be so kind.” I tell her, trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible.

“Sure, I will let her know, hope everything is okay there, you can call me anytime you want if you need help, you know that, right?” she tell me. I knew she had a little crush on me, but never did anything to take it further, which I am happy about.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks Mabel, I’ve got to go,” I tell her and hang up. I attempt to wipe my eyes from the leftover tears and think about Tris again. I head back into my room and see her still passed out on my bed.

 I head back to the bed and get the bowl with water and refill it in the bathroom with clean water. I carry on cleaning her for what feels like hours. I know she will hate me for doing this, but I need to get her out of these cloths, so I head to my dresser and get some sweatpants and my smallest t-shirt, knowing she will still drown in them.

I get her undressed and gasp when I see what her whole body looks like. It look like someone used her as a punching bag. My eyes start to tear up again and I start thinking about that night so many years ago when Peter had her over the Chasm in the Dauntless Compound. Without to much hassle, I get her in the clean cloths. I clean everything and throw her old cloths away, I never want to see them again. I head to the kitchen in search of something to eat as I am starving now, in which I realise that it is 7pm in the evening. I have been helping and crying next to her for about 9 hours straight. Is that possible??

I get some leftovers from the fridge that Christina dropped off last night, sometimes I think she thinks I can’t feed myself. I don’t mind but it still feels odd that we can be friends, when I know that she was Tris’ friend before mine. I head back into the room after I have eaten and leave a glass of water on the nightstand for her, should she wake up during the night. I hope she wakes, I have really missed those eyes of her.

I head to the bathroom and take a shower and get dressed. I go and sit on the coach and think about all the possibilities of how Tris is still alive. I go to the room every 30 minutes or so just to check that she is still alive and head back to the coach. At about 11pm the night, I decide to check on her one last time and get a pillow and blanket from the passage cupboard. I keep extras for when Zeke comes over drunk and doesn’t want to disturb Shauna or when Evelyn spends the night. I head to the coach and pass out nearly immediately.


	4. Awake

Tobias P.O.V.

It has been 3 days now and I am starting to panic, because Tris still hasn’t waken up. That can not be good for her. I contemplate that I may have to take her to the hospital for a check-up. I have cleaned her and sat with her for hours on end, one night actually falling asleep next to the bed with her hand in mine. I promised myself that should she not wake by the morning, then I will take her to the local hospital.

As I am sitting at the kitchen table eating, I hear a scream. And not just any scream, Tris’ blood curling scream from my room. I drop the glass that I had in my hand and run to the bedroom. I stop at the door and see her sitting up and looking around franticly. She might not realise where she is, she has never been here before. I stand in the doorway and try to catch her eye. She must feel me there because she jumps up from the bed, winches and then hides in the corner next to the dresser. God, what have they done to her, I think as I look at her. She looks around and sees me. She looks straight into my eyes and I try to show her not to be scared, it is only me. She looks around again and looks at me again, before trying to talk.

I then realise that she hasn’t had anything to drink in days. I go to the nightstands where I placed a fresh glass of water this morning and pick it up. I try to do this as slow as I can, trying not to startled her. I show her the glass and walk around the bed slowly.

“It’s just water,” I say as I give her the glass. She looks at me, then the glass, then at me again. I nod to her and she takes the glass. She gulps it down so fast, I was afraid she might choke on it. I take the glass and go and refill it again for her, which she gulps down too. I refill it again and she takes a few sips and put the glass on the floor next to her.

“Tris?”, I say to her in barely a whisper.

She looks at me and says, “Four?”.

I give a small laugh, because I am so happy she knows who I am. Then she asks, “Where am I and what are you doing here?”

“Do you remember anything from before? I saw you in the street and you passed out. You have been out for 3 days now. I was so worried, I was going to take you to the hospital in the morning if you didn’t wake up.” I tell her softly, not wanting to scare her more that she already is.

She look at me confused, still sitting on the floor next to the dresser. I hold out my hand to show her I mean her no harm. I exhale in relief when she takes it and I help her to the bed. She is so weak that she stumbles a few times.

When she sits on the bed, she answers me, still very confused, “I can’t remember much to be honest. How did I get here, what happened?”

“I don’t know Tris. God, I seriously don’t know. I scattered your ashes 6 months ago, I though you were dead, then I go to work and there you are. Running just across the street from my workplace, you looked like you were running from someone or something.” I say to her, tears stinging my eyes. 

The next minute she startles me by jumping off the bed again and sitting next to the dresser. Before I can reach her she starts crying, her head in her hands, her knees pressed against her body. The next minute she whispers, “Jason”.

“Who is Jason, Tris?”

“The guy at the Bureau, the one who…...who…” she tries to say. I walk slowly to her and sit in front of her, trying not to scare her. I take her hands from her face and look into those beautiful eyes of hers asking, “Who is Jason and what did he do to you Tris?”

“He is the scientist that was experimenting on me,” she says before falling to the ground and crying. It breaks my heart to see her like this and I seriously want to murder someone right now. After what feels like eternity, I get her to calm down and pick her up and place her on the bed again. I go into the kitchen and get her some food, she must be starving. I don’t know when last she actually ate. I heat some food in a bowl and go back to the bedroom. She is curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed.

“Tris?” I ask her, trying not to scare her. This is going to be hard, it looks like she has been to hell and back, mentally and physically.

“I got you some food,” I tell her while sitting on the edge of the bed. She looks up to me and I hold the bowl of soup. She looks to me and then I realise that she is to weak to eat by herself. I stand up, place the bowl on the nightstand and help her into a sitting position. Trying to not hurt her anymore that she already is. I take the bowl again, sit on the edge of the bed and feed her the soup.

As I feed her, I see a bit of colour come back to her cheeks, not much, but it feels like an improvement. After I feed her, I place a blanket over her and tell her to try and sleep. I kiss her on the forehead, feeling her winch at my touch. I breaks my heart when she does this. I leave the room and go and clean up the mess I made earlier from my broken glass and food on the counter. 

I finish up and fall to the coach, unable to sleep with all the worry going on in my head right now.


	5. Remembering

Tris P.O.V.

I have the nightmare again where they lock me up in that cell and make me watch how the torture him. I can’t think about him now, I just got out. Or I hope I got out and this is not another simulation. I wake up screaming again. 

Before I know it, Four runs into the room in him boxer shorts with no shirt. I sit on the bed shaking like a leaf, not getting over the nightmare. “Tris, are you okay?”, he asks me in a whisper. I look at him before answering.

“Yeah, I am now,” before breaking down, sobs racking my body. I put my head in my hands. I feel the bed dip on the side, and a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch. God, what is wrong with me, Four has never hurt me, why am I acting this way. He has always been a good instructor, better than the cruel Eric. With this thought, I remember Eric being shot and then I get shocked out of my crying with visions of me and Four.

I look up at him confused, trying to figure out if what I saw in my mind was real or not. I remember us kissing, that felt so good. I hope that was real. All these flashes going through my mind, I don’t even realise Four is talking to me. I shake my head, trying to get rid of some of the images before saying, ”What?”

“I asked if you are okay, do you want to talk about it?”, he asks me again.

I look at him and decide to ask the first question on my mind, "Four, where am I?”

He looks at me and a small smile crossed his lips, “We are at my apartment.”

I look around the room to see the place only furnished with the necessary things, it doesn’t look like a woman stays here with him. “Alone?” I ask before I realise what I asked. I look down at my hands and then only realise that I am wearing what looks like men clothes. More specifically, his cloths.

“Yes Tris”, he answers me while placing his finger under my chin to make me look at him. Before I realise what he is doing, he kisses me. I don’t react for a few seconds but then kiss him back. Memories start flooding my mind and then I pull back.

“Sorry”, I mumble, still seeing a vision of us in Amity in his bed.

“No, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I just really missed you. I love you Tris”, he tells me.

I can’t answer that until I know what is going on with me, us and everything else. I look around before asking him, “Can I use your shower?”

“Sure, let me get you a towel, will you be alright by yourself?”, he asks before looking away. I can see he realises what he just asked me.

“I should be okay”, I tell him while trying to get up. I am so sore, I only realise now that is feels like someone beat me with an iron bar, before I get the vision of Jason and the Bureau guards. It came so quick that I loose my balance and fell to the floor, crying and lying in a ball.

Four runs to my side and takes me in his arms, while I cry myself out at the memories.

“Tris, you are not okay. Please let me help you”, he tells me before lifting me up from the floor and

taking me to his bathroom. He sets me down on the counter and runs some water into the bath. While he waits for the water, he leaves to fetch a towel and comes back with clean clothes as well.

“Do you want me to help you or can you undress and get in yourself?”, he asks me. Not really wanting him to see me naked, but not having the energy to do it myself, I can’t really answer him. He must see the conflict on my face, because the next minute he says, “Tris, I have seen you naked before and you’re beautiful.”

I turn my face and blush, deciding that maybe he is here to help me and not hurt me. “Please,” I whisper, wondering if he can hear me. He helps me stand, help me get undressed and then helps me into the water. Before I sit, I get a flashback of them trying to drown me and I cling to Tobias with all the strength I have, which isn’t much against him.

I think he realises something is wrong, because he asks me “What is wrong Tris, what did they do to you? Please tell me, I just want to help you.”

I look into his eyes and tell him how they would put me in a tank like Jeanine did before and drown me over and over, just to revive me again to torture me more. His eyes turn black and his whole expression turns hard. Before I realise it, his hands are in fists behind my back, trying to control his temper.

“So help me God, I am going to find every last one of them and kill them for even lying a finger on you.” he says and then looks back at me before continuing, “That I promise your Tris.”

I finish bathing, feeling a lot better afterwards. I get dressed in the clothes he left me and exit the bathroom. I hear him in his kitchen busy with plates. I go to him, seeing that he made some food for us. I sit at the counter and he hands me a plate and some juice. I thank him and start eating. While eating, I am deep in thought, trying to get my jumbled thoughts together, because I know he will want to know what happened.

Feeling much braver than I really was, I decided to let him ask what he wanted to know. I could see it in his eyes, he had some questions for me and I really hope I could answer some of them. I look across to see him deep in thought, staring at me, “Just ask me what you want to know Tobias,” I tell him.

“How? Who’s ashes did I scatter?” he asks me, his voice breaking at the end.

“I don’t know, I can remember seeing you crying over me, I couldn’t figure out why. I couldn’t move, like the serum they gave me in Erudite, but this was much stronger. It felt like I was stuck in my own body for weeks before I could move again. I am wondering why you cried over me like that, I was just an initiate to you. But when you kissed me this morning, I started to remember stuff of us. At the time when I woke up here, I wondered why you helped me. Now it starts to make sense,” I answer him as truthfully as I can.

I can see him thinking about what I am saying, because it looks like he wants to cry, but keeps it in. I ask him, “How long was I gone?”

He looks at me and answers, “You died 3 years ago, I scattered your ashes 6 months ago with the rest of the gang, I went zip lining with them, because I knew you loved it.” His eyes start to tear up.

I am not sure who he is referring to when he says gang, so I leave it for now. I was so deep in thought, that I got startled and jumped when he spoke again.

“Tris, where were you all this time,” he asks me.

I look at him, not wanting to cry and tell him, “At the Bureau.”

I go ahead and tell him how they kept me and did experiments on me, how they would kill me over again and revive me, used memory and death serum on me, trying to figure out how I was immune when no-one was. I leave out a lot, not wanting to break down again, but know I won’t be able to keep it in for long. It is killing me.

I explained to him how one of the guards was stupid and didn’t lock my cell properly one night and I ran. I ran for a few days and eventually ended up near Chicago where I jumped on the back of a truck passing by. He stopped a few blocks away from where Tobias found me. I jumped off and just stumbled around before collapsing. And then ending up here. With him. All this time, his eyes are red as he listened to my story.

“Tris, you say they gave you memory serum and it didn’t work. How?”, he asks me.

“I don’t know, it feels like I am missing stuff that I feel that I should remember. Some memories are perfectly intact, other are hazy, like they are covered in smoke. Then there are those that I don’t know if they are real, or just from the simulations they put me through,” I tell him, starting to feel a panic attack coming on.

“I need to rest, sorry,” and I leave the table with him just staring at me. I go to the room and close the door, falling on the bed and eventually falling asleep.


	6. Old Wounds

Tobias P.O.V.

I am still sitting at the counter thinking about all that Tris has told me. She just went to bed a few moment ago. How am I going to help her? It sounds like she can’t really remember us being together and that is breaking me to pieces. I just got her back, I can not loose her again. I love her too much for that to happen, I doubt that I will survive this time if something should happen to her. I am so happy that Christina stopped me from using the memory serum all those years ago, even if it was a painful road to recovery.

I think about the gang and decide I should call them. I think I’ll start with Christina, she was always very close to Tris and they were very good friends.

I go the my phone and dial her number. She answers on the 4th ring, “Chicago Relocation Office, Christina speaking.”

“Hi Chris, it’s Four. How are you?”, I ask her.

“Hey hey Four, haven’t heard from you in a while,” she answers back. 

I half smile, half frown at this statement before answering her, “Chris, we saw each other on Sunday. It is only Wednesday now.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So how have you been?” she asks me.

“Can you perhaps get the group together and come to my apartment when everyone has a time please,” I ask her.

“Sure, I can do that. Will this evening after work be okay?”, she asks me. I tell her it will be fine and I hang up the phone.

I dial my next number, knowing that this won’t be an easy conversation. He answers on the 2nd ring.

“Dr Caleb Prior speaking,” he answers.

“Hi Caleb, it is Four, how are you,” I ask him.

“Hey, I have been good. Not to bad, been working a lot and you?”, he asks me.

“I have been better. Hey, can you perhaps come to my apartment this evening after work please. I need to show you something.”

“Sure, can I bring Cara with?”, he asks. I tell him it is fine and hang up. That went better than I thought. Now I just need to get ready for this, because it is going to be hectic evening with the news that I am going to spring on them. I go to the bathroom and take a shower and get dressed in better clothes.

It is about 5pm and I am sitting on the coach trying to figure out how I am going to tell them the news, when I hear a scream from my room. I jump over the back of my coach trying to get to the room. I run in, without even telling her of my presence and see her curled in a ball on the bed, sobbing into her hands.

I grab her in my arms, hearing her whisper and crying, “My baby, my baby.”

To shocked to know what she is talking about, I try to calm her down a bit before asking about what baby she is talking about. She wasn’t pregnant when we were together, we only did it once, just before I lost her forever.

“Tris, you are save now, I promise that no-one will hurt you again. What baby are you talking about?”, I ask her. Just before she answers, there is a knock at the door and I see that it is just before 6pm. The knock must have reminded Tris of something, because she starts to panic and cry, clinging on to me for dear life.

“The door is open, come in,” I yell, because I know it is the gang that is here. I tell them I am in the bedroom and that they should approach with caution. I look to see Christina, Zeke and Caleb look into the doorway. Before I know it, Christina is on the floor, her legs gave out as she saw Tris. Caleb has a look of shock on his face, not knowing if what he is seeing is real or not. Zeke is just standing there trying to figure out what is going on. I can here Amar asking what is going on from my sitting room.

“Guys, go into the sitting room. I will bring her out and try to explain as much as I can.” I tell them.

They all leave, Zeke helping a crying Christina off the floor to the coach. Tris has been crying into my arms this whole time. I look at her, trying to dry her tear stained face. “Tris, I am going to pick you up now, I promise that I will not let you go. Okay?” I say to her.

She gives me the slightest nod and I gently lift her off the bed. I round the corner from the room to the sitting room with her in my arms. I see Caleb, George, Zeke and Amar standing against the walls and door. Shauna and Christina are sitting on the coach crying and holding on to each other. I go to the other coach with Tris and gently sit her down on my lap, her head still buried in my shoulder. I can feel she is trying to get a hold of herself and calm down, but whatever happened before really shook her up.

I look around the room and say, “Okay, I know you guys have a lot of question, I will try to answer what I can. All I ask is that only one at a time speaks and that they try to be as soft as possible. She has been through a lot and there are a lot of things that are triggers. Got it?”

They all whisper, “Yes.”

“Thanks” I let them know. Then I start.

“Okay, as you can see, she never died. The Bureau gave her a new Paralysing Serum after she confronted David. She was awake when we went to say goodbye,” I try to not remember the pain I felt on that day. I still has me to pieces, and now knowing that she was awake that time, make me even more sad and angry and feeling I didn’t know I had in me. I want revenge on every single person that took her from me.

I hear Shauna and Christina gasp from the coach. Caleb is the first to answer, “But how. Where was she all this time?”

Before I know what is happening, Tris stiffens in my arms and turns around before jumping off my lap and running at Caleb. It happened so fast, at first I though she was going to hug him, but when I realised what is happening, she has her hands around his throat, screaming at him for being a traitor and trying to kill her. Then I remember that she has lost some of her memories and the one of her forgiving him is one she forgot.

I jump up and help Zeke by taking her off Caleb. I tell them that she has also lost a lot of her memories, so she may not remember some things. Caleb is still lying on the floor, shocked at Tris, tears in his eyes. He is rubbing his throat, you can see she left a handprint there. 

After I took Tris off Caleb, I went back to the coach and asked her what the last thing she remember from each person in the room. She looks around and sees Christina and smiles. “She is my best friend,” she tells me, making Christina cry fresh tears, hopefully from happiness. She look at Shauna and says she remember her from hanging with me a few times while training. She can tell Zeke is my best friend, Caleb is a traitor and tried to kill her in Erudite. Cara, Amar and George she can’t seem to place, although George does seem familiar.

I realise that this has taken a bit out of her, so I decide to take her to bed. I pick her up and lay her down, covering her up with a blanket again, before kissing her head. This time she doesn’t flinch like she did before and a small smile creep onto my face with this thought.

“Goodnight Tris,” I tell her before leaving. I hear her whisper, “Goodnight Tobias.” just before I leave the room.

I go back to the sitting room and look at each one and decide I better get everything out of the way. So I sit down and start explaining everything that she told me. From the Bureau torturing her, where she lost some of her memories due to memory serum, till where she escaped and I found her in the streets. They all sit and listen, the guys having hatred written all over their faces and the girls crying into each others arms.

I look at the time and see it is past 11pm, most of them still have work tomorrow. So I tell them it is time to go and ask them to keep this quiet for now. I don’t know if the Bureau is looking for her or what, but I will do anything in my power to keep her save.


	7. Wanting

Tris P.O.V.

I have the same nightmare again where they tortured him before me and ultimately killing him. I can’t take it anymore, he was ours, and they took that away from me. Tobias and my baby boy. He looked just like him, same blue eyes. I only got to hold him once before they took him away. Never did I think that the next time I will see him will be them placing him into a simulation and making me watch.

I wake up in a cold sweat, trying to keep the screaming from coming any further. I look at the clock and see is it 4am. I remembered a bit more of me and Tobias, so I am grateful about it, even though some doesn’t really make sense. Some of the memories are wonderful and then some are not. Like my last words to him before going into the weapons lab. I still don’t know why I did that, why I would leave him alone in this world. I can see it in his eye the way he looks at me, it has really torn him apart.

I decide I can’t sleep alone anymore, so a stand and stretch my sore body and tiptoe to the coach where Tobias is silently sleeping. I touch his shoulder, not knowing if I should wake him or not. I think my touch was enough, because he opens his beautiful blue eyes and they fall onto mine.

“Sorry”, I mumble. “Didn’t mean to wake you, I just couldn’t sleep alone anymore”, my voice breaking at the last part, thinking about my baby.

“Don’t worry, you can wake me anytime. Want me to lay with you till you fall asleep again?” he asks me. I nod my head and he stands and takes my hand in his. I feel sparks between our hands as he leads me to the bedroom. I get under the covers and turn to him as he lays down on the other side of the bed. I scoot closer to him until our faces are so close, I can kiss him. I just stare into his face and before I realise what I am doing, my lips are on his. I kiss him with everything I have and try to put all the emotions I have been feeling into this kiss.

God, this feels so good. I never thought I will see him again, even though I have forgotten that we were this close at one time. I don’t know for how long I kiss him, but before I realise what happened, I am straddling him with my hands behind his head, tucked into his hair. How could I forget this? How could they take this from me? My body wants more, but my mind says that it is not the time just yet. I continue to kiss him until I feel his hand slip under my / his shirt. It takes all I have to stop, even if I want to go further with this.

“Sorry”, I mumble against his lips.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t even know if you are seeing someone.”, I mumble and climb off of him. Just when I get to my side of the bed, he twists around and grab me. I stiffen at the touch, realising it is only Tobias and calm down again. I turn to look at him and he stares into my eyes, before saying, “ I haven’t dated anyone since you Tris. I loved….love you to much to even think that I will feel that way again with anyone.”

I look into his eye and feel tears sting my eyes before whispering back, “ I love you too, so much Tobias.”

After a while I fall into a dreamless sleep with Tobias holding me.


	8. Baby

Tobias P.O.V

Since Tris asked me to sleep with her and that kiss…… oh that kiss, I haven’t been able to fall asleep again. Just holding Tris in my arms like this and seeing her sleep, I never want to have this end. I lay awake until I see the sun rise. I decide that I will get breakfast ready, so she can eat when she wakes.

I remove her from my arms, trying to not wake her and head to my closet to get dressed. Once dressed, I head to the kitchen and get stuff out for breakfast. I hear a soft knock on the door, and immediately realise it is Christina. I go to open it, and look her in shock.

“Chris, didn’t you get any sleep last night?”, I ask her. Her face is blotched and it look like she hasn’t slept in days. She brushes past me with a bag in her hand. Once in the sitting room, she turns to me before speaking.

“No, I can’t wrap my head around everything Four. How could they do that to us. God, to you.”, getting loader towards the end.

“Shhh. She’s sleeping, we had a rough night, she keeps waking with nightmares and stuff.” I tell her. I can see Christina realising she was talking loud there.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I brought some clothes and stuff for her. I doubt that she would want to live from your closet the whole time.”

I tell her thanks and she turns to leave. Just outside the door she turns and looks at me with determination on her face and says, “We are going to make them pay for what they have done to her. That I promise you. Just promise me you will look after her?”

I nod my head at her and she turns to leave down the hall. I leave the bag on the table and head back to the kitchen, preparing breakfast for us. Just before I finish, Tris stumbles into the kitchen looking around. I smile at her and tell her that Christina stopped by with some stuff for her. I told her she can go take a shower before breakfast if she wants. She thanks me, takes the bag and leaves towards the room. A few minutes later I hear the shower running. I get everything ready for when she is done and decide to go and watch the news while waiting for her.

With everything that has happened, we received a device call a television in our home. It shows us stuff calls movies and series and then there is the news. That is what is actually happening in our world. I still can’t wrap my head around everything, but this is life. After a while I decide that something must be wrong, because Tris has been in the shower for far to long, even for her, so I get up and go to the bathroom door. I knock, no answer. I knock again and listen, hearing crying inside.

“Tris, I am coming in. Okay?”, I tell her before entering. I see her sitting in the shower on the floor and crying. I go to her, turn the shower off and pick her up. I wrap a towel around her and take her to my bed.

“Tris, please tell me what is wrong.” I tell her, hoping that she will tell me, because whatever it is, it is killing her. She cries even harder and I try to comfort her as best I can.

After a while, she calms down a bit to actually speak. “Tobias, I don’t know how to say this… I am scared you are going to be angry with me, but please remember, I couldn’t tell you before, I only found out after, ” she says before breaking down again.

I look at her and say, “Tris, whatever it is. I will never be angry at you. What is wrong?”

She gives one last hiccup and looks up at me before saying, “Tobias, I was pregnant and they….. they killed him in front of me…” She looks at me then starts crying even harder, if that was possible. I don’t know what to do, I am stuck with this vision of Tris with a baby, in her arms and then start to feel anger as the Bureau took everything away from her.

All I can get out is, “Who’s baby was it?”

“Ours”, is all she says before continue crying. I remember the one night we had just before I lost her and could feel my love I had for her then, and the love I have for her now. It has never changed, even with years of thinking she was dead.

Ours, ours, ours. That is all I can think about at this moment. I had a child and they took that from me. Anger starts to boil up in me before I ask, “What happened to the baby Tris?”

“They killed him. Right in front of me while they had him in a simulation. They killed our son Tobias. I couldn’t do anything about it except sit and watch how he screamed and gave his last breath. I am so, so sorry. I couldn’t stop them. Please don’t be mad at me.” she sobs into the pillow now.

I am stunned out of the anger for them, with her pleading and realise that she thinks I blame her for his death. I turn and grab her so she can look at me. “Tris, I do not blame you. God, how can I? You went through the same and they, The Bureau, did this. Not you! Do you understand me? You will not feel guilty about this. It wasn’t your fault.” I tell her.

I am being honest with her, I do not blame any of this on her, except that she left me to go into the weapons lab instead of Caleb. I honestly though she won’t do that, but I have come to terms that she still does loves her brother, even if she can’t remember it.

After she cried, I tell her that I made breakfast if she feels up to it. She wipes her face and asks me if she can just get dressed first. Only now do I see she is still in her towel that I wrapped her in earlier. I leave the room and go to the kitchen to heat the food for us. I get everything ready and just as I put her juice on the table does she come out of the room.

She looks so much better than before, she has some of the clothes on that Christina brought, and light makeup to hide some of the bruises on her face. I smile at her and we sit down to eat. I am so deep in thought about everything, that I don’t realise that she is staring at me. I look up, see her stare and she turns her head away from me and blushes. Damn, I never knew that she can blush like that. A smile creeps onto my face, but I am trying hard to hide it.


	9. Explanations

Tobias P.O.V.

After we ate, I cleared the counter and washed all the dishes. Tris wanders around the house, and I see her eyes landing on the statue and urn. She gently touches the urn and then turns to look at me before saying, “Was this mine?”

I place the last dish on the rack, dry my hands and walk towards her, “Yes. Christina picked it out. I tried to give it to Caleb, but he didn't want it. Said you loved me more that him and so I should keep it.”

“He was right about that,” she mumbles and turns away from me. “Tris, I know you can’t remember everything, but you love your brother. Dammit, you went into the weapons lab instead of him, you left me to save him. If that is not loving him, then I don’t what is.” I tell her. I can see in her face that she doesn’t believe me, but then understanding comes to her eyes before she mumbles about something that sounded like, that is why.

“What do you mean?” I ask her, genuinely curious about everything she is thinking.

“I was wondering why I was in the lab to begin with. I remember us in the hotel at the lab and you saying something like, see you soon, and then I remember me with David. After that I can’t remember much except you guys crying over me and I couldn’t move. Then I remember some guards take me to another part of the Bureau, think it was underground for a while, because there was no windows. Then a few days passed and they did some tests and told me I was pregnant. I was so happy at the time, thinking I had a part of you with me, but so scared at the same time, for not having you with me and what they were going to do to me. Tobias, I don’t have words at how much I missed you.” she says before turning back to the urn.

I take her shoulder to turn her back to me and I press my lips to hers. It still feels so good to kiss her, I want to do it forever. After I kissed her, I let out a chuckle and she stares at me. “What’s so funny,” she asks me.

“I remember going to the morgue to see your body and there was a time that I thought what I wouldn’t do for one more kiss, or word or glance from you. And now you are here again and I get to kiss you and hold you and stare in those beautiful eyes, and I can’t help but feel relief. Relief that against all odds and a miracle, here you are, standing in my apartment. If I didn’t have that nightmare on Monday morning and gone into work insanely early, I would never have seen you and you wouldn’t be here now,” I tell her, taking her in my arms and holding her tightly. I can’t let her go, I am just to scared I will loose her again.

One thing that I have realised over the years is that love can make or break you. I have changed so much since Tris fell into that net many years ago and I was literally breaking into pieces when I lost her. And just to find her again, I can’t describe what I am feeling at this moment.

I move her to the coach without breaking my hold on her and sit so close to her, that she is nearly sitting on my lap. I want to know more about what she remembers, but is so scared she will break down again. I can’t see her in so much pain, it kills me inside.

“Do you want to talk some more, or do something?” I ask her.

She looks at me and says, “What do you want to know?”

Everything, I think to myself, but answer her, “Whatever you want to talk about, what you feel comfortable with.”

Then she starts to explain about how she was held in room/cell like place, how she always had the same two guards. How she would try to fight back in the beginning for the baby, but after a while she couldn’t. They did all these tests on her with different serums and try to advance them to work on her, because for some reason they couldn’t get the death serum to work. The only one that seems to work was the Paralyse Serum. She was immune to the rest. When the baby was born, they tried to figure out how Divergence was transferred from parents to infants. They would test the serums on him, and he would beat most of them. Then they started to put him in simulations, while she had to watch how he would scream and she couldn’t do anything to help. They kept him separate from her.

By this time, Tris was crying again and had her head buried in my shoulder. I was so angry at them for everything and yet I couldn’t move from here, she needed me more now. I need her to recover, then I promise, I will get my revenge on anyone that had anything to do with this.

I look at the clock on the wall and it was already after 2pm, so I decided to make us some sandwiches for lunch. We ate in silence and just when I was done, my phone rang. I stood up to answer it. “Hello?”, I answer.

“Hey Four, it’s Christina. Do you mind if I can come over after work and spend some time with her?” she asks me.

I look over my shoulder and see Tris staring out the window, deep in thought, face still full of tears. “Yes, I think that will be perfect. She needs people around her, just you for now. Don’t want to overwhelm her again with to many people.”, I tell her.

“That is fine, I will see you at about 5:30 then. Thanks Four. See you later,” she says before hanging up. Damn, she is something, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I look at the receiver and put the phone down again.

“Hey Tris, Christina wants to visit after work, will that be okay? Just her for now.”, she looks at me and smiles while nodding her head.

“Don’t you work?”, she asks me.

“Yeah I do, I just took some personal time when I found you. Johanna always complained I worked to much, so I didn’t think she’ll mind.”, I say while smiling.

“Johanna? As in Johanna Reyes, Representative of Amity?”, she asks me.

“Yeah, the factions fell apart after your stunt in the Weapons Lab, a few of the old leaders and some new people, started a government. Johanna asked me to join her as her assistant. At the time I didn’t know what I was going to do with you not being here, so I accepted.” I tell her.

I go and sit on the coach next to her, staring out the window, before I hear a knock at the door. I glance at the wall clock and see that it is 5:25. That can only be Christina. I stand to open the door and let her in.

“Hi Four,” she says before pushing past me, straight towards Tris. I see a smile on Tris’ face and I excuse myself to go and shower. Giving them some time to catch up.


	10. Reunion

Tris P.O.V.

Tobias just left the room and I am hugging Christina. I missed her so much. I can’t believe she is here. But then again, I can’t believe Tobias is here. Or me. I still can’t believe what luck it was that the stupid guard left my cell door half unlocked.

“How have you been Tris and don’t lie to me. I can still tell when people lie to me,” she says while smiling at me and sitting on the coach.

I give her a look and say, “How do you think, I have been locked up and tortured for 3 years, went through hundreds of serum testing's and lost my baby. So yeah, I am good thanks.” I didn’t mean to be so harsh, it just came out.

She gasps at me and asks, “Baby, what baby Tris?”

Shit. I didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped out. Well, no taking it back now. “I had a son while I was at the Bureau. They killed him. It was Four’s.” I tell her, my voice breaking near the end.

“But he never said anything about you being pregnant. I didn’t even know you two did it.” She says while gaping.

I tell her as softly as possible so Tobias doesn’t hear, “He didn’t know. I found out when they took me. I only told him this morning. I don’t know what he is thinking though. It seems that I hurt him with what I did in the weapons lab.”

Christina sighs and looks at me and says, “You have no idea. After you died, I found him in his old house with memory serum. He wanted to erase his life, he was in so much pain. He was so consumed with grief that I had to call him a coward just to make him stop and think about what he was doing. He actually lunged at me and we had a few words before he started crying.”

I just sit there and listen to her, not believing that he would have done that. I am a nobody, but it feels like I was something to him. I remember when we were in the Erudite Compound and he told me that if I died, that he would die too. I guess that was his way of dying, taking his memories of me and trying to start new.

We chat a bit more, Christina telling me a bit about herself. She works at the Chicago Relocation Office, she helps people that are relocating from the Fringe to Chicago. She started dating a guy with the name of Lukas a few months back. Sounds like it is serious and she really loves him. She tell me that Uriah died just before I ‘died’. They took him off life support in the compound. She then tells me about all the changes around Chicago and how big the world is.

After a while, Tobias stumbles in the sitting room, mumbling apologies for interrupting. He just needed something to drink from the kitchen. He was about to go back to the room when I call him over to sit next to me if he wanted.

“Are you sure, I don’t want to interrupt anything,” he says, looking between me and Christina.

I look at him and was about to say something, when Christina says, “I need to go anyway. I still need to prepare dinner for Lukas and me.”

I give her a hug and tell her I missed her and that we should catch up again soon. She tells me she will visit as soon as she can. She says goodbye to me and Tobias and leaves.

“Do you want something to eat? I can make us pasta if you want?” Tobias asks me.

I turn to him and nod. “I just want to take a quick shower and then I can help you if you want.”

“Sure, it doesn’t matter, you need some rest. You have been through a lot. I still wanted to ask you, do you want to go to the cops and make a case against them? For what they have done to you?” he asks me while placing water in a bowl.

“How? It will be my word against theirs. How will I prove that this was them? They are outside the wall. It will be no use.” I tell him, whispering the last part.

He looks at me and frown, saying, “Then we will try and prove it. They will not get away with what they did to you. What they did to us.” He turns around and starts with the pasta.

“I will be back in a bit,” I say, leaving to go and take a shower and think about what Christina has told me.

After the shower, I get dressed and head to the kitchen to help him with the food. I ask him with what I can help, telling me I can set the table. I get everything ready and sit at the counter watching him. He is deep in though about something, because he doesn’t even see me staring at him. Or so I thought. He turns around with a smile on his face and comes to stand in front of me. Before I know it, we are kissing. Every time he kisses me it feels like the first kiss. I really have missed this, this closeness we shared. How did I live without it, I think to myself.

All to soon he pulls away and get the food from the stove. We sit and eat in silence until he start talking, making me jump a bit.

“Tris, can I invite the gang over tomorrow so we can talk about what our options are against the Bureau? I am sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but I need to make them pay. They took everything from us and I can’t stand by and do nothing.” he says looking at my face.

I think a few seconds and tell him it will be okay. “What day is it anyway? I haven’t been able to keep track of anything while I was there.” I ask him.

“It’s Friday today, so if you want, we can go walk around a bit tomorrow morning before they come over at noon. Only if you feel up to it.” he tells me

“That will be okay.” I say while standing up and collecting my dirty dishes. I go to the sink to wash them, only to find him standing next to me drying them off.

When we are done, we go and sit on the coach, him holding me and occasionally kissing me. We watch some movie on the TV, I think that is what he said it was. I drift asleep in his arms thinking about everything that is to come.


	11. City

Tobias P.O.V.

Tris fell asleep in my arms while we were watching television. I turn off the TV and pick her up from the coach, taking her to bed. When I put the blanket over her, she mumbles, “Stay.”

I go and lock up the apartment and put all the lights off and get ready for bed. I hold her in my arms and drift off to sleep thinking about a life with her again.

When I wake, I see it is still a bit early for anything, so I decide I will call everyone up to meet this afternoon. I go and get dressed in comfortable clothes that I can walk in as we are going into the city later. I head to the phone and start dialling Christina’s number. She will meet us here at 2pm this afternoon. After that I phone Matthew, Zeke and Shauna, Amar and George, Caleb and Cara. I know she still haven’t remembered him passed being a traitor, but he was Erudite and might have some ideas about our situation and what we can do to get payback. I guess I am going to have to tell them why I want to do this and that means I am going to have to mentioned the baby. Our baby.

I never gave it much thought about being a father, I guess I always thought that I might end up like Marcus. But with everything that went on in the war, I never did consider it. And when I lost her, I gave up on it completely, because I couldn’t think about having a family that wasn’t with her. I guess I was still grieving in some way the past 3 years, even when it felt that I wasn’t.

Christina and them gave up trying to set me up on dates after a while when they realised that I never went to any, no matter how hard they tried. I was content in living alone. I worked, hanged out with my friends and slept. That was until now. I really need Tris in my life. I can’t go back to that now that I know she is alive.

I go and get coffee ready when I hear Tris moving in the room, after a while she comes into the kitchen.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?” I ask her, knowing that it looked like she slept free of nightmares.

“Good morning, I slept okay. Haven’t slept through a night in a while,” she tells me.

“Good, here,” I say handing her a cup of coffee. I only now realise that she is already dressed for the day with some light makeup to hide some of the bruises and cuts. Some of the ones on her arms are turning yellow already and will soon fade away.

“The gang will be here at 2pm, so we can do some sightseeing till 12. Then we can go and eat somewhere, only if you feel up to it.” I tell her.

“That sounds okay, it would be nice to see the changes to Chicago. I kinda never got to see it after the war I guess.” she says with a small chuckle. I get angry at her, if she thinks this is something to laugh about. I still feel the ache in my heart about that day when I lost her. I just give her a look to say that she mustn’t joke about that.

I guess she knows what I was thinking, because she tells me, “Sorry, it wasn’t funny.” and turn to look out the window.

We drink our coffee in silence and then we are ready to leave. I lock my apartment up then we head into the weekend traffic of the city. I don’t live to far from my office or the Hub. I can see her look at the buildings and people in awe. This must all be so strange to her, seeing all these people wandering the streets on their way to their weekend activities.

“Tell me about the city,” she says to me, while glancing at my face.

“Well, let’s see. A lot has chanced, as you might see.” I tell her. I start with the basic information as, there are no more factions or choosing ceremonies. There are new types of schools, there are shopping centres, new technologies, more people have vehicles, although I still like to catch the train or walk. The trains actually stop now at designated placed and they put seats in them. You can about get everywhere in the city with a train.

I tell her all this while watching her out of my peripheral vision. She is looking around, craning her neck so far and turning it so quickly so see everything, that she might break it off. We wander around for a few more hours before I realise it is time for lunch.

I take her shoulder, I was previously holding her hand the whole time, and lead her to a restaurant. I get there and get a table for two. As I pass one of the table, not really looking at anyone, I hear my name being called.

“Four!” someone shouts as I am trying to see who it was. Just then my eye lands on Jessica. Urg, please not her again. I try to be polite and wave at her, still following the waiter to our seat. We get there and I help Tris in her seat.

“Your waiter will by right with you,” he tell us and leaves.

Before I can even say anything to Tris, Jessica comes up to me and kneels against the table next to me. “Hey, why didn’t you greet me before.” she says in a half sulking voice.

“Sorry, I was busy being lead to a table and I would like to introduce you to Tris. Tris, this is Jessica.” I tell them, waving my hand between them.

“Nice to meet you Jessica,” Tris says in an awkward voice. I can see she is trying to see how I know Jessica.

Jessica on the other hand, turns to Tris, looks her up and down and says hi. Just when she wanted to speak to me further, realisation comes across her face and she looks at me, then at Tris.

“Tris? As in THE Tris?” she asks me. “But how is that possible, Christina said she died.” she questions me, raising her eyebrows to me, as if she thinks I am lying.

“Well obviously she didn't, I was lead to believe she did. Sorry but if you will excuse me, I want to have some lunch with Tris. Bye Jessica,” I say, dismissing her from our table. She really has been a pain in my ass for a while now and I still haven’t forgiven Christina or Zeke for trying to make me go on a date with her. It was damn awful. I was so lucky when the night was over, but she has been bugging me on and off for a few months now. I really hope she gets the picture and leave me alone now.

I turn back to Tris and give her a smile. “What would you like to eat?” I ask her.

“Umm, I don’t know. I have no idea what half this stuff is to be honest.” she says while giving me a shy smile.

“Do you trust me?” I ask her. She looks at me and nods her head. I order for both of us and we make small talk while we wait for the food to arrive.

Our food arrive and I watch Tris as she eats. She seems to enjoy what I ordered for her, which makes me happy. She hasn’t changed over the past few years and I seem to remember everything about her likes and dislikes.

Once we are done, we head back to the apartment to wait for the others to show up.


	12. Plans

Tobias P.O.V.

I enter my apartment with Tris behind me and see that they will be here any second. I forgot to tell Tris that I invited Caleb.

“Tris, I need to ask you something. I invited Caleb, but I am asking you not to do anything to him, please. I know you don’t remember, but one day you will and you will regret it if you hurt him now. So I am asking, just try to work with us on this.” I tell her.

She gives me an odd look and takes a deep breath before answering, “Okay, I will try my best.” and she turns to go into the bedroom. A few minutes later I hear a knock at the door and head to open it. I see everyone came at the same time again, so I open the door even wider to let everyone through. The guys stand around the room again and the girls take a seat. Tris comes out, I see that she changed in more comfortable clothes and it wearing one of my shirts. I smile at this and we take our place on the other couch.

Everyone greets Tris and me, Caleb only saying hello, not trying to come too close again. She says hi to everyone and then they are all quiet. I guess waiting for me to start.

“Okay, I asked everyone here to help me and Tris. Most of you know the basics, that Tris’ death was faked and she was kept at the Bureau while they tortured and tested on her. Now my problem is that I can’t let them get away with this and what they have done too her, or to me to that end. They took away something precious to us, and I want revenge.” I say, taking a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Tris is just sitting in my arms, starring at nothing.

“Unfortunately, I can’t just barge in there and shoot every last one of them, even though that is what I really want to do, so we need to make a plan to get them to pay for what they have done. We need to do this the right way and as Zeke and Amar are in the police force, Caleb and Cara was Erudite and Matthew used to work at the Bureau, I need your help. I need a way to make them suffer and to prove what they have done.” I tell them ending my little rant.

They look at me and Christina asks Tris, “Is this about what you told me the other night?” I look at Tris and see nods her head. I guess Christina knows about the baby.

“What is she talking about?” Shauna asks me and Tris. I look at Tris and she give me a faint nod, telling me I can tell them.

I take a deep breath and look around the room before saying, “Our baby.”

I hears gasps and get a look from Caleb that says - I am going to kill you. Shauna looks on the verge of tears at this and I can’t help but feel my eyes burning. I wipe my eyes, trying to hide behind Tris’ head and then look back at the group.

“What do you mean your baby?” Zeke asks me.

“Just what I said. Tris was pregnant when she ‘died’ and when she had our son, they took him from her and experimented on him, killing him in the end.” I say, not able to keep all my tears at bay and feel one slip past my lashes.

Amar gives me a knowing look before saying, “You know why they took her and your son, don’t you?”

I look at him and nod my head, the rest of the room except Matthew doesn’t know what we are talking about. “Because of her Divergence. He knew about her divergence and they were trying to figure out how none of the Serums worked on her. They even tried to use memory serum on her, causing her to loose only some of her memories, but not a clean wipe.” I say this while pulling Tris even closer to me, if that was actually possible.

I can feel Tris shaking and realise that she is reliving this. I pull her onto my lap and cradle her, her head in my shoulder. I look around the room and ask again, “How are we going to make them pay for this?” I look at all their face and Matthew gives a small smile.

He stands up straighter and unfolds his arm, “I have something that might work, but it might be painful for Tris and I doubt that you would want to be present for it.” He looks around the room before continuing, “It is a device that I am busy on working for the Government and police force. It is similar to the last stage of training you guys had in dauntless, except this machine doesn’t show you your fears, it shows your actual memories. It is something between the old Candor truth serum and the simulation machine. But this shows the memories on a screen for the officials and police force to see. So say we place Tris in it, it will show everyone watching what she went through. It doesn’t matter if you are Divergent or not, it will show us memories. Not thoughts or anything, so it can’t be tampered with.”

He look around again and continues, “The only thing is, Tris will relive it in her mind and I don’t think you must be there, it will not help for you to see what she has been through. So with this machine, which has been used in court cases a few times, can be used on her and we can make a big case against the Bureau.”

I look at him as if he is speaking another language, but I know what he it trying to say, “Will it work, do you think we can make a big enough case against them to stop this once and for all?”

“Yes.” he answers simply. “I just have to set an appointment to use the machine and we will need an official, judge and someone from the police force present. Since Zeke and Amar is both on the force, one of them will suffice. I am guessing you can get Johanna to be the official and I can maybe get Luther as the judge. I will ask him if he would be interested in taking on the case.”

“Thank you, this really means a lot to me.” I tell him truthfully.

“Don’t thank me yet, I need to get the appointment scheduled and Luther on board before we start this. I will set up the meetings Monday morning and let you know.” he says. Zeke gives him a pat on the back and Amar and George has huge smiles on their faces.

“Okay, I think that is settled then.” I tell them looking down at Tris, she has been so quiet this whole time. “Are you okay with this plan Tris?” I whisper to her. She meets my eyes and nods her head. I must have a huge smile on my face. The next minute I kiss her, forgetting we have company. Someone clears their throat and when I look, I see it was Caleb. Zeke and Amar has huge smiles on their faces still and is trying not to laugh.

“Okay, I think we covered everything, I am going to get Tris to bed. She still needs to heal, so if anyone has something to add, they know where to find me.” I say, dismissing everyone. Everyone says their goodbyes to me and Tris and leave. I still have Tris in my arms, just standing next to the door with my face buried in her neck.

I look at her and meet her eyes with mine. “How do you feel, do you want to take a nap or watch some tv?” I ask her. “Lets just lie down a bit, I don’t really want to sleep,” she says. I pick her up bridal style and take her to the bed.


	13. Time

Tris P.O.V.

We go and lie on the bed, everyone just left after our planning. I think Matthew’s plan over as I lay in Tobias’ arms and I can actually say Matthew’s plans might work, even though I don’t like to relive it all again. My back against his chest and he is holding me around the waist. I can hear his breathing, so I know he is not sleeping, just giving me some space to think. I turn around to look into his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, I have honestly missed them.

“Do you think this will work?” I ask him. He looks at my face and says, “I hope so, it is more than what I thought and if Matthew can pull this off, then we can really stop this once and for all.”

I smile at him and think about his earlier comment, “Do you really want to storm into the Bureau and just shoot everyone?” His eyes wander to the wall behind me before he answers, “Yes, I want every single person to suffer and feel what you had suffered. I want to take them in my hands and beat the living daylights out of them. I feel so angry for everything they have done to you.” He looks back into my face and in that moment I really feel love for him.

I take his face in my hands, tracing his cheek with my thumb and pull him closer to me. I kiss him with such passion and love that I nearly shocked myself. I really love Tobias, even if I didn't show it or told him enough before or during the war. I don’t think I have, I am still missing time and memories of everything.

I continue kissing him until I find myself pulling his shirt over his head. He is hovering over me at this point and with his one hand tracing my face. I grab his back and pull him closer to me, I want to feel the warmth of his chest against me. He doesn’t mind though and before I know it, he his pulling my shirt over my head, only breaking the kiss to remove my shirt. I grab his face and move it back to mine, kissing him like it might be the last time. I don’t want this to end and I want him. So bad. He stops kissing me for a minute, just to look at me and whisper, “Beautiful.”

We make out for a bit longer, just kissing and being close to each other. I don’t feel ready for this to continue to something more tonight, even if my body tells me not to stop. It is all still a bit confusing. I would like to remember everything before I give myself to him like this. After our little make out session, we spend the rest of the night talking and eating in front of the TV. I fell asleep in his arms again that night.

The Sunday was very similar, both of us staying in our pyjamas, eating, talking and watching movies. Just spending time together. Tobias has to go back to work tomorrow to work out the stuff with Johanna, which was going to leave me along in the apartment the whole day. I fall asleep in Tobias’ arms again, thinking that maybe everything might just end up okay. The war seemed over, people got used to the changes and now it was my turn to think towards my future. Hopefully one where I can include Tobias in, with us growing old together.


	14. Gone

Tobias P.O.V.

Beep, beep, beep…

Oh seriously, can the day just not wait before it wants to start? I open my eyes to Tris laying next to me in bed. It has been a week since I found her, and although that first few days of her being unconscious was terrible, I haven't felt this alive in a very long time. I am so happy and even though we have a long road ahead of us, as long as she is with me, I will be okay.

I get out of bed, trying not to wake her and get ready for the day. I need to get to work, find out if James can handle everything and then speak to Johanna. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to break the news to her and then ask for her help against the Bureau. I hope she will help. I think I will be able to convince her though, she is actually very good at her job. I just hope she won’t have a problem because it is the Bureau.

Once I am showered and dressed, I grab some coffee and scribble a note to Tris telling her I will be home earlier. I am not going to work the whole day. I leave a note near the phone with everyone’s work and private numbers, should she need anything. I leave my apartment and head down the street to work, daydreaming of what Tris and I can actually have or be. I really would like to propose to her one day and the thought of her becoming my wife, brings a huge smile to my face. I see some people stare at me but I don’t care.

I reach the building, swipe my security pass at the entrance, greet Roger and Phil, the two security guards and head to my office. I take the stairs as the elevator still brings some bad memories back. Luckily the building only has 9 floors and I am on the 5th. And I always feel better after climbing the stairs, it feels like I did some exercise. I go into my office, only to be greeted by James.

“Hey, how are you?” he asks me.

I put my stuff down and turn to him, “I had a rough week, but I’m okay. How was the meeting?”

“The usual as always. New ideas, changes in the city, the rebels in the Fringe. Nothing new.” he tells me.

“Okay, so you were fine to handle it? Sorry I left on such short notice, I didn’t have a choice than to ask you,” I tell him.

“Nah, nothing to worry about, you have helped me in the past, it was the least I could do. Anyway, let me get to work. Johanna asked that when you are back, you must go and see her. I think she is worried, because you never take personal time and this is the first time in forever.” he tells me laughing.

“Thanks James,” I say and he turns to leave. I head out of my office and head to Johanna’s office. She is one floor above me and I take the stairs again. I reach her office and is greeted by Mabel.

“Hey Tobias, welcome back. You look better that you sounded on the phone last week. Are you okay?” she asks me, placing her elbows on her desk with her chin in her hand, staring at me. 

“Yeah, I am. Thanks for asking. Is she in?” I ask while pointing to Johanna’s door.

“Yes she is. Let me tell her you are here.” she says while picking up her phone and dialling Johanna’s extension. “Miss Reyes, Tobias here to see you.” she says and hangs up after a few seconds.

“Go ahead.” she tells me, giving me a flirtatious smile.

I head to the door and open it to Johanna behind her desk, staring at the city. “Hey Four, nice to see you again.” she tells me while turning around to face me. A lot of people from the old factions still call me Four, while others has started calling me Tobias. I still only like Tris calling me that, but I can’t do much to help it. I guess that is just how it is.

“Thanks, I am so sorry I bailed on the meeting last week. I was on my way and then something happened and in that time I completely forgot about the meeting.” I tell her honestly.

She looks at me and asks “Are you alright Four? I’ve known you for a long time and you don’t just forget a meeting. What happened?”

I look at her and decide I might as well tell her. “Tris is back.” I simply say.

Johanna was holding a pen in her hand, dropped it and looked at me, “What do you mean Tris is back? She died 3 years ago.” 

“Apparently not. I was in front of this very building Monday morning, because I was too early for the meeting at the Hub and I stumbled upon Tris just across the road. I couldn’t believe my eyes, I thought I was dreaming, but it is her Johanna, I swear. She is at my apartment now.” I say, she is still looking at me as if I am crazy.

“But how?” she asks.

“The Bureau faked her death and she escaped. She walked all the way from there to here. It took her days, she nearly died. They did experiments on her, testing new serums on her Divergence. She has been locked up for 3 years. 3 Years that I have thought she died! 3 Fucking years they have kept her away from me!” I say, starting to yell at the end.

I look at her and mumble, “Sorry.”

“No need to apologise, you must really hate them for this. I can not understand how and why they would do this. Their memories were wiped, how did they know about her?” she asks me.

“I have no idea, just that the new scientist’s name is Jason.” I tell her.

She looks at me, deep in thought. I ask her the question that I need an answer for, “Will you help me take them down? I know we can’t do it like we did in the war, but Matthew has that Memory Machine they use in the Court House. We need an official to sign off on it so that Tris and I can make a case against them. Will you please help us?” I say, pleading in the end.

“Yes, if you do it the right way, then I will certainly help you. You don’t need to ask. How is Tris doing? This must really take a lot out of her?” she asks me, genuinely concerned.

“She is better in some ways, physically at least. Memories tend to leave her in tears though. I am trying all I can to help her. I just hope it is enough. I just want the Bureau to pay for what they did to her. There is another thing that you will eventually find out once she is in the machine” I say to her.

“What?”

“She was pregnant with my child when they took her. They killed him in front of her.” I tell her, trying not to let the tears spill over. I am always so emotional when I think about the baby. I will never be able to hold him in my arms, or watch him grow up.

“Oh God, I am so sorry to hear this,” Johanna says while standing up and placing a hand on my shoulder.

“We will make a case against them and make them pay for this. Just let me know when Matthew can get a date set up for the machine. I am guessing Zeke or Amar will be in with a judge?” She asks me, sitting behind her desk again.

“Yes. Matthew is going to find out if Luther can be the judge.”

“Good, we should be able to make a strong case then,” she tells me getting interrupted by her phone ringing.

“Sorry, need to get this,” she tells me. I excuse myself and go back to the office, glad that Mabel was distracted on her computer, not seeing me leave. I just wanted to get back to Tris. I go to my office again, telling James to cover for me while I take care of some personal stuff.

I leave the building and go and buy Tris some flowers from a store they call a florist. Never knew you can buy flowers, but it feels like a good thing to do. I browse around, eventually picking 6 roses. They are made to look black and red.

I go to the apartment and when I reach the end of my hall, I see me door standing open. I run to my apartment only to find that everything has been turned upside down.

“Tris?” I scream, running to the bedroom and bathroom, looking for her. “Tris?” I yell again before I realise she isn’t here. God no, please no. Everything is turned upside down, some of the stuff is thrown out of the cupboards. They were seriously looking for something or someone. They couldn’t have taken her again. I will not survive this time. I fall to my knees, sobbing into my hands, my back to the door and the roses forgotten. Why are they doing this to me? Haven’t they tortured me enough?

I can’t even think what I will do if they have her again, I can’t.

I sit there and cry. Not sure how long I cry, my body sore from sitting in the same position, my eyes have no tears left, until I hear someone in the doorway say, “Four, what happened?”


	15. Memories

Tris P.O.V.

I wake up from a dream, feeling the bed next to me for Tobias. I then remember he said he had to go to work today. So that means I am all alone in his apartment trying to sort out my thoughts. Was what I was dreaming real, or was is just my imagination playing tricks on me. But I need to find out and Tobias isn’t here.

So I get up and get dressed for the day. I go into the kitchen, seeing that Tobias has already prepared coffee. I take a cup and sit at the counter, seeing a note on it. I pick it up and see he left me a message

Hey Tris

I had to leave early and I didn’t want to wake you. I made coffee, left emergency numbers next to the phone and a spare key next to the door. Please don’t wander to far to get lost, but I will try my best to be home as early as possible.

Love

Tobias

I finish my coffee, look at the numbers and dial Caleb’s number. He is the only one that can help me now.

“Dr Celeb Prior,” he answers his phone. Damn, he is fancy with the title these days.

“Hey Caleb, it’s me…… Tris. How are you?” I ask him, hoping he’ll talk to me.

“Hi sus, ummm, I good and you?” he asks, stumbling a bit there, I think he wasn’t expecting me to call after our last encounter where I nearly choked him.

“I’m okay, I wanted to find out if I could speak to you please. I know it isn’t the best time and I am sure you have work.” I say, a bit uncomfortably. I never had the thought that he might not speak to me.

“Sure, you want me to pick you up in 10 minutes, then we can go to the coffee shop around the corner” he say to me.

“That will be perfect. See you then,” I say and hang up. I quickly apply light makeup to the last of my bruises and wait at the door for Caleb. A few minutes later I hear a knock at the door, asking who it is. I don’t know many people and I don’t feel save to just open the door for anyone.

“It’s me,” I hear. Caleb.

“Coming,” I scream to him, taking the spare key at the door and opening it. I greet him awkwardly and step outside. I then lock the door behind me and we leave in silence. The coffee shop is literally around the corner and we enter, me getting all the aroma’s of different coffee smells. Never knew you got so many.

We go and sit near a window at a small table, someone comes and takes our orders. He ordered me something called a cappuccino. As we wait we make some small talk and talk about his job.

When the coffee arrives I take a sip, this is definitely something different. We spent the next few minutes talking about random stuff until I decide to ask him what I came here for.

“Caleb, I had a dream or memory or something and I need to know if it is real. Tobias said I mustn’t try to hurt you again, that I would regret it as I can’t remember past you being a traitor. So my question is, did I really forgive you and take you place in the weapons Lab? Is that why I was there?” I ask him.

His face falls and he looks to his coffee for a second before looking back at me and answering, “Yes. just before I went in, some guards stopped us and you took my place. I still feel guilty to this day, that I was nearly prepared to sacrifice you for Jeanine and yet still you took my place in the weapons lab, sacrificing yourself for me.” I says, choking back a sob at the end.

I take his hand on the table and hold it. Trying to show him that I am not mad. He looks at our hands and I can see he is trying to hold back the tears.

“Caleb, I forgave you for what you did. I never regretted that choice, so please stop blaming yourself.” I tell him truthfully, giving him a smile as I say it.

We finish our coffee while talking about random things, our parents and where we are today. We chat for a little while longer and then I realise that is has been a few hours. It is passed lunch. I tell Caleb I need to go, that I didn’t tell Tobias that I was leaving and don’t want him to worry. Caleb pays for the drinks we had and we leave. He walks me to the apartment building entrance and then turns to me.

“Good luck and I am glad that you are getting your memories back. I love you sus,” he tells me and giving me a hug.

‘Love you too,” I say hugging back. He then turns to leave, leaving me alone going up the stairs the apartment. When I get close, I can see the door standing open and hear crying from inside. What is going on?

I turn the corner of the door, seeing Tobias on his knees in the sitting room, which is a mess and turned upside down, crying. “Four, what happened?” I ask him.

He turns around and looks at me. God, what happened to him? His face is red from crying and his eyes are bloodshot. “Tris.” he whispers, lunging at me.


	16. Feelings

Tobias P.O.V.

I hear someone ask behind me, “Four, what happened?” I turn around at the voice, relief flooding through me. I have no words for the feelings I am feeling right now at that voice. The next minute, I am on my feet, running to her and embracing her. I start to cry harder when I feel her in my arms. She puts her arms around me, holding me like a lifeboat. God, I have never been more happy to see her than I do now. She is here, in my arms.

Tris….

Safe….

I pull away and kiss her feverishly. I can’t stop kissing her, and she has to break away for air. I place my forehead against hers, before she speaks again.

“Tobias, what is going on, you are scaring me.” she tells me, clear panic in her voice. I take a deep breath and start, “I came home after work and saw the door broken, standing open, the place destroyed and you missing. I thought The Bureau took you again. God, I was so scared Tris. I am just so happy you are okay.”

She looks at me and says, “Sorry, I didn’t think to call you and thought I will be home before you. I remembered Caleb just before the weapons lab incident and I needed to know if it was real or not. You weren’t here so I phoned Caleb and he picked me up. We spoke for a while and unfortunately it went longer that I thought.”

“I am so happy you were out and you remembered him. That might just have saved you from this. It is clear that someone was looking for you. I am just so happy at the moment.” I tell her, giving her another kiss.

“I am not letting you out of my sight till we catch whoever did this. You will go into the office with me for a while. I will get someone to fix the door and we will clean up later. I just want to hold you now. I love you Tris.” I tell her. I really do love her and can’t imagine my life without her. I will do anything to protect her and keep her in my life. I swing the front door closed as much as it can and lead her to the bedroom. I clean everything off the bed and lay next to Tris, holding onto her as if my life depended on it.

I stare at her face for a few minutes and she reaches out to touch my cheek. I can just imaging what I look like. I have been crying for what felt like hours before she came back. I stifle a sob, thinking that I nearly lost her again.

“Ssshhh, I am here Tobias. It’s okay. I am not going anywhere if I can help it. I am sorry I didn’t let you know before I left, that was my mistake. Maybe if I did, you wouldn’t feel this way. I am so sorry,” she says, her voice breaking at the end.

“Don’t be, it is not your fault. I am just a bit emotional at the moment, it will pass. I am going to take a quick shower, then I will phone the building maintenance people and we can perhaps get some of this stuff cleaned up.” I tell her, rolling off the bed and going into the bathroom.

I take a quick shower, just to calm my nerves and get dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt. I head out towards the bedroom and don’t see Tris. I hear someone busy in the sitting room. I go in finding her cleaning some of the stuff off the floor and setting the coffee table right again. I go to the phone and phone the repair guys. After I hang up I speak to Tris, “He will be here in 30 minutes to fix the door for us.”

“Okay,” she says while giving me a smile. I go to her and give her a hug from behind before starting to help her clean up. The repair guy come and fixes the door, I pay him and lock the door when he leaves. I am not going to make a charge, as I am not hundred percent sure who it was, even if I have a theory, and nothing was stolen. We will get the Bureau back for what they did.

We finish up throwing the last of the broken stuff away. It is already past dinner time, so I order some takeout for us. Tris seems fascinated that people deliver to your door. I wait for the food to arrive while Tris goes and takes a shower. She’s just finished when the food arrives, I pay the guy and set the food on the table. I get plates and juice for us with the food. We sit down and talk about little things, not really about what happened today.

I am just so glad she is here and that nothing bad happened. We finish and decide to watch some TV before heading to bed together. I have been sleeping next to her since she asked me to and I am all but happy to do it. I love to have her fall asleep in my arms and wake up to her beautiful face every morning.


	17. Meeting

Tris P.O.V.

I wake up to the gentle hand of Tobias shaking me awake. “Tris, we need to get ready to leave.” he whispers in my ear. I turn to face him and he is holding me in his arms, he makes me feel so safe, safer than I have felt in a very long time. 

“Okay,” I tell him, while giving him a kiss on the cheek. I really want to kiss him, but my breath doesn't smell to good, since I just woke up. I get up, stretch and go to the bathroom to finish up. I get dressed once I am done and head to the kitchen where he is busy getting breakfast ready. He is already dressed for the day. 

“I am not going to be at work the whole day, just want to work on a few things and take you to Johanna. She didn’t believe me at first when I told her about you, but she said she will help us. I am expecting Matthew’s call this morning about the judge and machine as well. So hopefully by this afternoon , we will know what is going on. In the meantime, I am not letting you out of my sight until you are better to look after yourself and we have the Bureau pay for what they have done.” he tell me.

I just nod my head, trying to take everything in that they may actually pay for what they did to me and our son. We finish up and head out the apartment, him locking everything behind him. He takes my hand in his and we head into the streets of Chicago. I am still in awe about everything and how it changed in the time that I was locked up outside the gates. As we walk, Tobias points to a few things here and there and tells me what they are.

Once we get to his building, he swipes a card, greets two security officers and introduces me to them. We head up the stairs and he explains what an elevator is. I immediately understand why he doesn’t use it and prefers the stairs. Once we get to his office, someone greets him while coming around the corner into his doorway. 

“Hi Tobais,” he says before looking at me. Tobias must see this because he says, “Hi James. Tris, this is James, James, Tris.”  
“Hello,” James greets me, shaking my hand. “Hi,” I say, looking at James. I then turn my head to Tobias, but I can still feel James staring at me. This is making me very uncomfortable. “I am going to ask you to cover for me again for a few days, I am going to see Johanna in a few minutes. I need to talk to her, but I am confident that you can handle everything. I will let you know when I will be back fully.” he tell James. I guess they do the same kind of work as they cover for each other.

“Sure, no problem.” James tell Tobias before leaving. Tobias takes my hand and leads me up another floor. We head to a large door with a girl sitting behind a desk. She lifts her head with a huge grin on her face and says, “Tobias, how are you?”

I can feel Tobias’ hand grip mine firmly before answering, “I am good thanks. Just here to see Johanna again.” As he says this, I can see her eyes drift to Tobias’ and my hands. “Sorry, Mabel this is Tris. Tris, this is Mabel, she is Johanna’s secretary.” 

I can see Mabel doesn’t like me much, but I am still polite in saying, “Hello, nice to meet you.”

Mabel just looks at me and says through clenched teeth while trying to seems polite, “Hi, you too.” She then goes to the phone and dials. “Tobias here to see you Miss Reyes.” After a second she puts the phone down and says, “You can go through” 

As we leave I see she is shooting daggers at me. What is her problem? I have never met her before,   
so why doesn’t she like me? I forget this as we enter past the doors and into an office. I see Johanna stare at me as if she can’t believe her eyes. She stands up and walks around her desk, before taking me in her arms and giving me a hug. 

“I can’t believe you are standing before me, Tris. Four told me that you were alive, but seeing you is a whole different story.” she tells me while still holding my shoulders. She releases me and we make our way to the chairs in front of her desk. 

“Nice to see you again Johanna,” I say. Johanna just stares at Tobias, trying to communicate to him wordlessly. I stare at them for a few second before Tobias looks down at his hands. 

“I know,” he answers. I have no idea why though. He must have seen something in Johanna’s eyes and answered .

She answers with a huge smile on her face, “I am happy for you though. I knew it was hard, but I am happy you get a second chance.” Ah, I get it now, they are talking about me returning. I don’t interrupt, just sit there and stare down at my hands now. I don’t know how long though, because I am interrupted from my thinking with Tobias calling my name. 

“Sorry,” I mumble before looking at him and Johanna again. 

“What did you say?” I ask, looking at Tobias and then Johanna, not knowing who spoke to me first. 

“I asked if you are okay,” Tobias says and I nod my head yes. “Just thinking, sorry.” I tell him.

“Okay, so Luther contacted me, said Matthew asked him and he is on board. But personally, I think he is doing this for two reasons, to get further in his career with such a case and it sounded like he doesn’t like the Bureau. But either way, I don’t care, as long as we make them pay for this.” Johanna tells me and Tobias. 

Just then her phone ring and she answers. She listens for a few second and gives the phone to Tobias while saying, “Matthew”

“Hi Matthew, how did you know I was here?” he asks and listens for Matthews answer. “Ah ok, anyway, what is the update, could you get an appointment?” Tobias asks Matthew. 

“Okay, so soon?” Tobias asks, surprise on his face. “Sure, I will tell them, yeah thanks again. I will get Zeke or Amar to help. Thanks again…… I will tell her. Bye.” he says and hangs up the phone. 

“Well, that is a surprise, the appointment in tomorrow….” but before he can finish, Johanna interrupts him. “So soon?”

“Yeah, they had an opening. It is either tomorrow or in 3 months.” He says looking at me. I just nod my head telling him tomorrow is okay. So tomorrow I will have to relive everything that they did to me. God, that is going to be hard. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach at the thought. I can see Tobias looking at me. 

He turns his head to Johanna and tell her that we are leaving and that they will be at the court room tomorrow for the meeting. I greet her and feel Tobias place his arm around me and lead me to the door. “Are you okay?” he whispers in my ear. 

I just look at him, not knowing what he sees on my face, but he nods his head in understanding and leads me to the office Mabel sits in. As we enter, she gives Tobias a friendly smile and glares at me. As we pass, I ask him what her problem is with me. He sighs and answers me as we reach the steps. “She has a crush on me, and I have made it seem that I didn’t notice. I have never felt anything for her, and I think her seeing you with me, makes her not like you.”

I nod in understanding. I still can’t believe that he hasn’t found someone else in my absence. How can someone as kind and caring like Tobias not find love in the 3 years of my absence? He must really have been lonely in that time. 

Before I know what I am doing, I ask him, “Tobias, why haven’t you moved on with someone yet? It has been 3 year and I can’t understand why you are still alone.”

We stop and he turns to me, we are outside the building now. He grabs my arms gently and looks at me with such mixed emotions in his eyes. “It took me two and a half years to get over you, to get the courage to scatter your ashes. And after that I felt like I will not be able to feel for someone again like I felt for you. Christina tried to get me to date girls, and I tried, but truth be told, they weren’t you. I always compared them with you, how you looked, what you would do and in the end I decided that it was unfair for them and me to think like that, so I decided not to try. If it should happen, then it will, but I would not force myself to be with someone.”

I look at him, feeling tears drop onto my cheeks. “Lets go home,” I tell him softly.


	18. Ready

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS M RATED. ONLY FOR SUITABLE VIEWERS - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Tobias P.O.V.

We go home and reach my apartment. Hopefully when all this is done, I can call it our apartment. I open the door and let Tris enter. I see her walk into the bedroom, leaving the door open behind her. I close and lock the front door and follow her. I take my shoes off and put them in my cupboard. I decide to go take a shower real quick.

Once out of the shower, I forgot I didn’t take clothes with me. So I wrap one of my large white towels around my waist, exiting the bathroom. I still have some water dripping from my hair and chest. I see Tris sitting on the edge of the bed, turned away from me. I see her glance over her shoulder at me, most properly when she heard me entering the bedroom. The moment her eyes land on me, I can see a small blush on her cheeks. I can feel how her eyes roam my body, making me feel alive. She turns away from me, blushing. I decide that I need to see her eyes more, so I decide to go to her and stand in front of her, still wrapped in my towel.

I take my hand and stroke her cheek. While doing this, she turns her face and kisses into the palm of my hand. I take her hand, making her stand in front of me. I look into her beautiful eyes and whisper, “I love you, you are the only one for me, who makes me feel like my heart is on fire.” I lean down and kiss her on her soft lips. She pulls back slightly and bites her lip. I can see she still feels insecure about her looks, but in my eyes she in the most beautiful woman on earth.

I place my hand behind her neck and pull her towards me, kissing her slowly. I lick her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She opens her mouth and we start exploring each other. After a few minutes of this, I realise my hands have started to roam her gorgeous body. I look in her eyes again and I can see love there. I kiss her again and before I know what is happening, I am taking her shirt off. She doesn't stop me, so I decide that it was okay with her if I did this. I lie her down on the bed, still kissing her and my hands roam down to her pants. I kiss her on her sensitive spot on her neck and I start to unbutton her pants slowly, feeling for any sign that she wants to stop.

I glance at her while doing this and she gives me a smile while also blushing. I go back to kissing her on her neck and I start kissing her down her chest. I kiss her breasts above her bra. My hand go around her back and I unclasp her bra. I take her bra off and kiss her left breast nipple. I feel myself getting hard as I do this. She grabs my face and pulls me to her mouth, I bite her lip and she opens her mouth again. I roam her mouth a bit more and my left hand starts to roam down her body to her thigh.

I start kissing her down her chest and then her nipples again, feeling them getting hard against my tongue. I go down to her stomach and kiss her there, feeling her body against mine as a do this. I am on fire everywhere our flesh touches. As I kiss her like this, she grabs the sheets next to her, her body arching towards me.

I move down, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses as I explore her body towards her thighs. My hands roam her silky legs, going slowly. I love the feeling of doing this to her. I take off her panties and throw them on the floor. I glance at her and see her eyes are closed, a look of lust on her face. I place soft kisses up her legs towards her beautiful inner thighs. I slide my tongue through her wet folds and she arches her body towards me, moaning softly. My tongue is on her sensitive spot while I place a finger gently in her.

I don’t know how she feels about me doing this, but it seems like she is enjoying it. I feel myself already hard for her. I kiss and lick her while my finger is still in her. I hear her moan loudly, making me flinch even more under my towel. She grabs me by the face and pulls my towards her mouth, kisses me with passion and then pushes me over, so I am lying on my back. I can feel her removing my towel and exposing my throbbing dick. She starts kissing my neck and I can feel my heartbeat in my throat, pounding loudly. I feel her hands on my abs, going down to my dick, leaving a trail of fire with it.

Then I feel her small hand on the tip of my dick, making me even harder than before. God. I feel her start kissing me on my inner thigh, my body starts shaking as I feel her wet mouth on my dick. There has never been a better feeling than this. She starts moving her mouth on me, my hands now grabbing the sheets and I let out a load moan. I feel her releasing me and kissing up my chest to my neck. I grab her by her arms, moving her towards my face. I lift my body up and press it against hers, kissing her everywhere I can reach, my hand roaming her back.

I turn around, placing Tris on her back again and kiss her on her throat. I feel my dick near her entrance and pull away from the kiss. I look into her beautiful eyes as I slowly enter her. I feel her moan as I do this, once entered I stay still for a moment, taking in this feeling of her around me. I kiss her again on the mouth and start moving slowly in and out of her, her hands grabbing my back and I can feel her pulling my body against hers. This is unbelievable, this feeling is making my loose control on all my senses and I can’t think of a coherent thing to say.

I start moving faster and she starts moaning more. I love the way she moans, it sets a fire inside of me I didn’t know I still had. I feel the light breeze on my skin from the open window and I can feel goose bumps rising everywhere. I release her mouth as we both gasp for air, only to move to her neck again and kissing her there. I grab her hands in mine and pin them on the bed while leaving open mouth kissing along her mouth, jaw and neck. Doing all this while still moving in and out of her. She moves her hands back to my back and she grips me tightly, feeling her nails digging in me. I love this, her hands on me, her scent surrounding me and her love for me.

She starts moaning loader and I can feel she isn’t gonna last much longer, so I start moving faster and I can feel myself loosing the last of my control. Before long I feel her clutch around me and I release the same time as she does, riding out this high while she milks me with her own orgasm. I feel like flying in this moment, even with my fear of heights. We stay like this for a while longer, me still in her, just kissing her neck and then going back to her mouth. I roll off her, only to pull her closer to my body and holding her, whisper things in her ear.

I can see she Shivers from my breath on her neck, both of us trying to catch our breath. This is the happiest I have ever been in my life, with this amazing girl in my arms, her hands roaming my chest. I kiss her forehead. That was beyond anything I have ever felt. We made love, not just have sex. We showed each other what words fell short of.

We lay like this for a while longer when she stands and tries to pull me up. I just laugh at her attempt. I feel free and happy in this moment and I don’t want it to end. I get up and follow her, her hand in mine. We go to the bathroom and I know what she wants to do, so I go to the shower and open the taps without a word. I turn around and take her in my arms and kiss her on the lips.

“I love you Tris”, I whisper to her. She look up to me, places her one hand on my cheek and whispers, “I love you too Tobias.” I feel a smile spread on my face as she says these words. I never knew that 5 words can make me love her even more, or make me feel so alive. We shower and just spend the afternoon with each other. I get out, and head to the kitchen to start dinner. I get everything out and feel her stare at me. I turn around and smile at her. We prepare dinner in small talk and is just seated to eat when there is a knock on the door. I stand to get it and find myself looking at Christina.

I invite her in, get a plate of food for her as well, and we spend the evening laughing and chatting about everything and anything. We spend a few hours just catching up with Christina telling Tris about me and some of the stuff we did while together with friends. I recall some of the times and now that I come to think of it, I was miserable. Even if I tried to look like I was happy, I wasn’t. We spend this last night in happiness before the trial starts tomorrow. Johanna and Matthew has forced me to not be with her while she is in the machine. I know why they want this, but I can’t let Tris go through this alone. I promised myself I will never let her be alone again. After Christina leaves, we clean up and head to bed together. This afternoon and evening was perfect.

Tomorrow is going to be a long and stressful day. For both of us. Tris falls asleep in my arms, me holding on to her. I don’t want to let go. I have changed so much since Tris came into my life. I think about what my life was before, when she wasn’t with me and what it is now. I will protect her from harm, even if it kills me. I will not survive again if I lose her. With this I fall asleep, with Tris in my arms and an unknown future. But as long as she is in it with me, I will be happy.


	19. Guest

Tris P.O.V.

I wake to the sun rising through the window. I feel something soft underneath me and when I look, I see I am lying on top of Tobias’ chest. I look at his face and see he is awake, staring at me with a smile on his face. I smile back and say, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he says, his voice thick and deep with sleep. Damn, he is so damn sexy, how can he be interested in me, but after yesterday with all the love and passion, I don’t doubt that he doesn’t love me. I lie on his chest and stare at him a bit longer. I can feel his hand go up and down my arm and he kisses my forehead. 

“As much as I want to lie here with you all day, we need to get up. Our appointment is in two hours and we need to get ready.” he tells me. I tense up at his words and start to feel uneasy. Today is the day, I think to myself. Fuck. How am I going to get through this. Before I know it, Tobias is wiping tears from my cheeks. I didn’t even realise that I was crying, but now I can feel myself trying to contain a full panic attack again. 

“Shhh.. It’s going to be okay, I will be there with you if you want to. I won’t leave you, I promise” Tobias says to me, while holding me closer to his chest. How do I tell him that I want him with me, that I won’t be able to do this alone, yet not wanting him with me, for the fear of hurting him even more? I can’t let him see our son like that, it will kill him. That is some of the stuff I don’t want him to know, yet I am not strong enough to do this on my own. 

As I am going through these emotions, I feel Tobias swift next to me and prop onto his elbow staring at me while using his thumb to wipe away stray tears from my cheeks. “What are you thinking about?” he asks me and I don’t know how to answer him. But I have made a promise that I will never lie to him again. What happened in The Bureau hurt us both and I can’t let them drive a wedge between us again. 

“I don’t know how to say this” I confess, looking away from his face and down to the bedspread. 

“Hey, look at me,” he says while making me look at him again. “You can tell me anything” he says and then kisses me on the forehead again. I decide that I will just tell him how I feel and then I take a deep breath and say, “I want you with me and I also don’t want you with me. I don’t know if I can handle this alone, to go through everything again. But I also don’t want you with me, I don’t want you to live what I had to go through. You already had a lot of abuse before everything and I can’t let you feel this pain again, with everything they did to me or him. I can’t let you see it like I had to live it.” 

There, I told him and now I am crying again. Great. I am such a damn emotional wreck, I don’t know how he can stand to be around me like this. I try to place my head in the pillow, but Tobias just gets up further and pulls me into his lap. 

“I want to be there for you, to help you through this. I was thinking about going against Johanna and Matthew and go with you. I know it will be emotional, to see everything as you told me, but in the end, I don’t want to leave your side. So I have now decided that I am going to go with you and try to help you as much as I can. This is about you and what they did to you. I want to help make this a bit better, even if I am uncomfortable with some of the stuff.” he tell me softly while still holding on to me. 

I look at him with such love in this moment, that I don’t want it to end. I then press my lips to his, certain about my action, just as I was on the train that one time when I straddled his lap and kissed him. I kiss him for what feels like hours, but in fact was only minutes. We get interrupted by someone knocking at the door. Tobias quickly get dressed to answer. I go into the bathroom and finish up so we can leave. Once I am done, I leave the bathroom, only to stop in my tracks by the person in front of Tobias. 

Evelyn.

His mother is standing in the doorway, I slowly step forward, not wanting to interrupt them. Tobias must hear my approach, because he turns around and smiles at me. I stare at Evelyn and she stares back. Next I hear her say, “How?” Tobias turns to her and invites her in. He closes the door and turn around and walks over to me, taking me in his arms. 

“That is why I haven’t spoken to you these past few weeks. I was a bit busy trying to work everything out. I am sorry, everything is just a bit much at the moment. Tris needed to recover. The Bureau faked her death and experimented on her.” he tells his mother, not saying anything about the baby. She walks over to me and takes me in her arms. “Oh God, I am so sorry,” she whispers in my ear. 

Wow. 

Evelyn is hugging me and saying sorry to me. I can see Tobias with a small smile on his lips. “Thanks,” I say, not really knowing how to respond. She releases me and turns to me and Tobias again. He takes me in his arms again as well. “I understand, I just wanted to know if you were okay, and now I see that in a way you are and also not. I will leave you alone, but please keep me informed, I really would like an update once in a while to know if you are okay.” she says, giving Tobias a small smile. 

“Thanks mom, I will,” he says as he ushers her to the door. She turns around, smile at me and says goodbye. Then she turns to leave. I just stand there in the same spot. What just happened? Where did that come from. Tobias turns and must have seen my confused face, because he answers me, “We have been trying to get back to being a family. It was hard in the beginning, but as time went by, I feel that is it nice to have my mother in my life again.” 

I just walk over to him and give him a hug, whispering, “I am happy for you.” Then I release him. 

“You ready,” he asks me. I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing what is coming and nod my head yes. We turn and leave the apartment.


	20. Stress

Tobias P.O.V.

I close the door to my apartment and turn to Tris. I take her hand and we head out into the city. We must take the train to the courthouse, so we go to the station. These are where the trains stop to pick and drop people. I can see Tris is getting nervous as we get closer to the court. I feel her palms are getting sweaty and she is starting to shake. We get to the station just as the train stops and we get on. We take a seat together and I turn to Tris. 

“Hey, I will be there with you, I promise. I know this is hard, but we will get through it and make the Bureau pay. I love you Tris” I say to her. I see she has tears in her eyes. She turns her head to me and says, “I love you too.” I bend down and give her a short kiss. The train stops and I take her hand again as we head out of the station. I keep a hold on her hand, not wanting her to get lost in the city. 

We walk a few blocks until I see the courthouse. We walk mostly in silence, only with me rubbing circles on the back of her hand, hoping that it will calm her a bit. As me and Tris near it, I see Zeke and Amar standing on the sidewalk talking. Zeke sees me and motions for Amar. He turns and they both head our way. Zeke walks to Tris and embraces her in a hug. Amar shakes my hand and asks how I am doing. “Fine I guess, just a bit stressed at the moment.” I answer him. Amar nods his head in understanding. 

“Okay, lets head inside,” Amar says and walks next to me. Once inside the lobby, I see Johanna and Matthew talking near the entrance to the elevators. They turn to us and wait for us to get closer. “Hey guys,” Matthew greets us and we go to the elevator. Tris must have felt my uneasiness, because she hold my hand tighter as we enter the elevator. I feel myself starting to panic, this is why I take the stairs. Tris turns to me and stares into my eyes. I get so lost looking at her that I forgot where we are until the doors opened and we stepped into the hallway. 

“Thanks,” I whisper to Tris and she gives my hand a squeeze and a small smile. After everything, with all the stress she is going through, she is still the one that calms me down in the elevator. I will never be able to thank her for just her presence in my life. Once down the hallway, following Matthew and Johanna, we reach a door and enter it. “Hi guys,” we get greeted as we enter. “Guys, this is Luther, Luther this is Tris and Four. You know everyone else.” Matthew introduces us. “Hi” Tris says from my side and I go and shake his hand. “Nice to meet you,” I tell him. 

“Okay, down to business before we head to the Machine. Matthew filled me in on the basics and the rest we will find out once Tris is in. I just want to know if this is really what you want? The Bureau is a large place and we will need a strong case to even consider taking them on. I am willing to do it if you are, as I am sure Johanna, Amar and Matthew are. So my final question is, are you 100% sure, because this might take a long time to get the evidence and it is going to bring up some bad memories for Tris and assuming you are going to be with her, same to you Four.” he says, while looking at me and Tris. 

I turn to her and ask her silently. She nods her head yes and I turn to Luther again. “Yes we are,” I say to him. “Okay, then we can begin,” he says and stands, walking to a cupboard in the corner of his office. I returns with a bottle of whiskey and gives me a glass. “Drink, you are going to need it in there,” while handing me the glass. “I know you think I am crazy, but I know how this can effect some people, and we need you to be strong for Tris.” I down the glass as he puts the bottle away and shows us to follow him. 

The whiskey burnt going down, I but definitely feel calmer already. We follow Luther down a few more doors and get to a room with two security guards in front of the door. They open the door and we enter. I don’t really know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t really it. It looks about the same as the last fear simulation setup from Dauntless. A chair with straps in the middle with a few cables and a lot of screens to the side of the room with chairs. 

Someone comes in behind us and introduces herself as Romi. She goes to the chair and starts turning some things on. I also see someone at the screens with Matthew as they are franticly typing stuff on the computers. I turn to Tris, who has been very quiet this whole time. “Are you okay,” I whisper, so only she hears me. “No, but I guess I better be, because there is no turning back now.” she whispers back. I take her in my arms and just hold onto her, until someone calls my name. 

I turn to see it was Matthew. “We are ready when you guys are,” he says and motions for Tris to the chair. Tris gives me one last hug and I whisper, “Be brave.” She moves to the chair and Romi starts working on her. I can see she starts to panic as Romi tries to fasten the straps on her arms. I look at Romi and she answers my silent question, “It is only so she doesn’t thrash around and hurt herslf or pull on the wires while under. I promise that is all it is used for.”

I turn to Tris and try make her understand. We eventually get the straps on and Romi puts the cables on her. I go over to Matthew and he tells me what they are going to do and what I should expect. When he is done, he tells me I can go and sit next to Tris. She will be able to hear me, but not respond. I need to help her stay calm throughout this whole thing. I can see everything she sees and help her through it as much as possible. 

“I love you Tris, I will be with you every step of the way. Please try to remember that this is not real and that you safe.” I tell her before giving her a kiss.

They inject her with something and I take her hand, holding it in both of mine. She looks at me one last time and drops her head against the headrest of the chair. Matthew switches on the screens and it starts.


	21. Machine

Tobias P.O.V.

I look at the screen that is facing me and I can see she is in the Bureau, but it looks different from the last time we were there. They adjust some things on the computers and her memory changes. I can see her in the weapons lab now. I am starting to panic a bit, because this is where I lost her. I try to calm myself down, I really can’t break down here and now. I am now actually happy for the drink Luther gave me earlier.

I see how she is talking to David, still trying to inch towards the keypad. Then he shoots her.

I want to cry out, but I just look at Tris, telling her and myself she is with me right here and that she isn’t dead. Next minute, she is limp next to me and I start to really panic. When I look back at the screen, I see they are injecting her with what I am guessing is the paralyse serum. I see her as she hears me crying over her body at the morgue after I was told she died. That day comes back to me in a bad way, I nearly cry out in pain. I talk to Tris, telling her it is not real, that I am next to her. Before I know it, I am gone from the memory and everything changes. I don’t know where she is or recognise any of her surroundings.

Next a scientist comes in and introduces himself as Jason.

Jason!

That is who did all this to her! That is the bastard that tortured and held her captive. If I ever get my hands on him, I am going to kill him, very slowly might I add. I want him to feel the pain she had to go through.

I see how they inject her with serum after serum, eventually Jason comes in a few days later and congratulate her on her pregnancy. She seems so happy with the news at first, but then her smile drops. She cries each night in her cell, trying to get out, but to no avail as there are no windows or anything. How she cries for me to help her, to help our baby. Tris in front of me is also panicking and crying at this point.

The memories on the monitor pass as the months go by and so does her pregnancy, she looks weaker and thinner with every month that goes by. They would starve her some days, hoping that the simulations and serums would work on her weakened state. They have already placed her through her own fear simulation multiple times, this weighing her down a lot more. She struggles through some of them, especially the water tank fear, as well as where she has to kill her parents. I realise that I am in this fear now too. I can see how she struggles to kill me each time, after a while crying and saying to herself that it isn’t real. But the look on her face tells me she doesn’t really believe it. You can see how they would hit her if the serums and tests didn’t work.

After a few minutes, I realise why she struggled so much with the water tank. They actually made one where they would keep her in, until she nearly drowned and then place her into another simulation. She started to have problems differentiating between the simulation one and the real one. With every memory that I see, the more red I see. I am trying really hard to hold it together, but this is literally killing me. After a few more memories, I see she goes into labour while they were beating her again. I also notice that she didn’t carry full term. How do I notice these things at a time like this?

It feels like I can’t move my eyes from the screen. Before my brain catches up to my body, I am already standing, the chair fell backwards in my anger. I see how they have her tied to a surgical table with straps around her hands, neck and head. How she is crying for me and our child. I notice that they don’t really care what happens to them, they are quiet rough with her and the baby. I am gripping the table so hard, my hands feel numb. In my state, I didn’t even notice Matthew get the door guards to stand inside the room now. I can see him talking to them, but I am still more focused on the screen in front of me.

I see how she screams and cries while giving birth. Our son, I can see our son and I will never be able to hold him. I see how they work with our baby, nearly dropping him in their carelessness. How he screams bloody murder in their arms, how she pleads just to hold him, all this before she goes unconscious.

Tris in front of me is thrashing and screaming now.

That is when I totally lose it.

I feel strong arms around me, holding me. Matthew saying something, but I can’t hear him. I am to focused on Tris in front of me and my thoughts against that doctor and the lab. I am struggling against the guards, but they have me pinned.

Matthew is still in front of me, saying something and I am trying really hard to listen, but my body is disconnected from my brain.

Next minute I feel a sting across my cheek and I go limp in the guards arms. I look up and see Amar standing there, he slapped me through the face. “Four?” Matthew asks, “can you hear me?” I nod my head, to tired to answer. “Good, I need you to leave the room for a few minutes, try to calm down and then I need you to come back and help Tris out of the machine. Do you hear me? I am not going to let her continue now, I gave her a serum to calm her until you are ready, do you understand?” he says.

I just nod and the guards release me. Amar walks with me until we are outside in the hallway again. Once there I slump down the wall and break down. I am so angry and sad at the same time. I hate feeling this weak, but I can’t seem to keep my feelings inside anymore. I cry for our baby, for everything Tris had to go through. Then I start to get mad again, this time at myself for not staying at the Bureau and trying to keep Tris save. This is all my fault, if I stayed, non of this would have happened.

But as I sit there I start to realise some things. Like why would they hit her when the tests and serums didn’t work? Didn’t they need her because of her Divergence? This is starting to feel more like something personal to me than just using her as a test subject. As I sit here, I decided that I will find out why he took her. Why out of all the people did he take Tris.

I see Amar standing in the hallway with me, just looking at me and saying nothing. I try to collect myself, I need to be strong for Tris now. If I feel like this for only witnessing it, how must she not feel for living it. I try to stop the tears and get my anger at myself under control so I can be there for Tris now. She will need me now more that ever. I try to collect myself so I can help Tris out of the machine.

I stand up and walk up and down the hallway, trying to collect my thoughts. I get my breathing under control and decide that I need to get the tears off my face, so I head to the men's room down the hall. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red as well as my face. I look like I am fuming and crying at the same time, which I guess I did a few minutes ago. I finish in the bathroom and head to the room where Tris and everyone else is.

I take a deep breath and then I enter and see Johanna and Matthew turn around and look at me. I nod my head towards them and go to Tris, which is lying peacefully in the chair now. I grab her hand and I start to mumble stuff to her. I try to tell her she is fine, that I am here with her and that she is still alive.

Matthew comes to us and injects something in her arm. “Be ready,” he tells me and before I know it, Tris is screaming bloody murder. I grab her and hold her, talking to her and rubbing her back. After a few seconds, she must realise it is me, because she breaks down, sobbing in my chest. She is holding on to me so tightly that it feels like she might just strangle me. I hold her to my chest and try to talk to her.

I hate seeing her in such pain.


	22. After

Tris P.O.V.

I can’t take this anymore. I can see how they nearly dropped my baby. Why are they doing this to me? To my baby? I can’t take it anymore, I just want to die. But I can’t, not now. My baby needs me. As I scream and cry, I can hear him screaming bloody murder in their arms. 

My baby…..

As I hear his screams fade, I feel myself slipping. Slipping into unconsciousness. I can’t do this, I need Tobias, I need to try and protect my baby. As I feel black spots cloud my vision, I know that I am not strong enough. I can feel that I am not going to protect my baby. I walk into the blackness and feel relief. 

Before I know what is happening, I can see a room and I scream again. I scream just to let everything out. Someone, please just help me…….

I feel someone hold me, but the grip feels so familiar. I look up and see Tobias looking down at me and holding me, that is when I break down. I was in the Machine, why did I do this, the pain was murder. I had to see my son get taken from me again. I hate this, I don’t know if I can take this anymore. I am still crying, Tobias is trying to talk to me, but everything sounds like a tunnel. I try to focus on his voice and after a few minutes I can hear him. He is telling me he is here and he will protect me, that nobody will come near me again. 

I look up at him and see his eyes are full of tears. He is crying, but by the redness of his eyes, he must have cried a while. I take my shaking hand and place it on his cheek, trapping some of the tears on the palm of my hand. I just stare at him and he at me. After a few minutes I hear someone clear their throat and then I remember that we are not alone. Tobias looks at someone behind me and I hear Romi speak, “We just need to check her vitals quickly, then you can go.”

I turn around and Romi checks my blood-pressure and heart-rate. Matthew comes and stands by us as Romi does all her tests. “Okay, we are gonna reschedule this in the next open space, we feel that we can’t let Tris go through anymore than she just did. Go home and rest, I will contact you when we have an opening.” I feel Tobias nod and I thank Matthew. I try to stand, but my legs are not working at the moment. Tobias grabs me before I hit the floor and makes me sit on the sideways on the chair. 

“Stay here, I am going to finish this up and I will help you.” he tells me. I nod and see him go over to Johanna and Amar and the others. They are all behind the screens and computers. I see Amar place his hand on Tobias’ shoulder and say something. I see him nod and greet everyone, before turning and heading back towards me. He helps me up from the chair and I try to walk. The longer I walk, the more feeling I get back in my legs. By the time we reach the elevator, I see the restroom to the side and I turn to Tobias, “We can take the stairs, I am okay now. Can I just quickly wash my face?” 

I see relief in his eyes as I say this and he nods his head to me. I go to the restroom and quickly wash my face, just to clear all the tear stains. I finish without really looking at myself and head back to Tobias. He is standing at the staircase door and we head down the stairs. 

I am so deep in thought about everything, that I didn’t even realise that we are outside the courthouse. The sun is high in the sky, signalling it is about noon or just after. “You feel like eating something?” Tobias asks me. I just nod and he takes my hand. We head deeper into the city and after a few minutes of walking, we reach a restaurant. We get seated and I tell Tobias that I just want use the restroom. 

Once in the ladies restroom, I head to the mirror and see my face still lightly red a bit. I wash my face again and try to freshen up as much as possible. I am a wreck inside, but I can’t show it on the outside now. I can’t breakdown now. I finish in the restroom and head to our table. When I get there, I can see our waitress trying to flirt with Tobias. I feel a pang of jealousy at this and I can see he is uncomfortable with this exchange. He sees me and a smile spreads across his face. He stands up and nearly pushes the waitress out of his way to reach me. He gives me a peck on the lips and helps me into my chair. 

I can see the waitress isn’t very happy and just glares at me. He sees this exchange and before he even sits, he walks over to the front desk and talks to someone, making me think it is the manager. He comes back and the manager follows. I give him a questioned look and he just shakes his head slightly. The waitress leaves with the manager and we get a new waiter within a few minutes. We order our drinks and then he leaves. 

“What was that about?” I ask him. He looks at me and answers, “I am not going to sit here with someone like that and see how she looks at you. She tried to get me to meet her after her shift and the more I tell her I am not interested, the more she tries. But I am not going to stand the way she treats you. That is where I draw the line.”

I smile at him. I fall more in love with him everyday. 

I just look at him and thank him. Our waiter arrives with our drinks and we order our food. We eat in peace and try to make small talk about random things. I know he is trying to keep my mind off earlier, but I am guessing he is also trying to keep his own thoughts going there. 

I can see this has hurt him just as much as it did me and I am regretting that I asked him to be there for me. I was happy that he was, don’t get me wrong, it has helped a lot. But I brought this pain onto him and I feel guilty about it. We finish our lunch and head back to the apartment. I am so tired, I can barely think straight, but I know that the minute that I am going to close my eyes, I am going to have nightmares again. 

The only thing that I really am thankful for is that Tobias is here with me. He is my rock at this point and I don’t know what I will do without him.


	23. Pain

Tobias P.O.V.

We are lying in bed at the moment, Tris’ back against my chest. I am just holding her, thinking about everything that happened this morning. My feelings are so jumbled that I can’t make anything from them. I recognise pain, loss, anger, confusion and then love for this beautiful woman in my arms. 

I would not have had the courage to go through what she had to go through. I would have tried to end my life long ago if I was where she was. How did she live and still be the Tris I fell in love with after that? How did she not loose herself in the process. I can feel Tris is still awake, so I whisper to her that I am quickly going to take a shower and then get dinner ready. I didn’t even realise that we have been laying here for hours. 

“No, let me get dinner ready while you shower. I feel like I am not doing anything,” she tells me as she turns to look at me. I cup her cheek with my hand that I am not laying on and just stare into her eyes. 

“You don’t need to do anything Tris, you have been through a lot and I want you to not exert yourself until you are fully healed.” I say to her. 

“Please, let me do this at least. It won’t kill me to get dinner ready,” she pleads. 

“Okay,” I whisper and give her a kiss. It was meant to be a peck, but she grabs my neck and deepens the kiss. I don’t object, I can kiss her for the rest of my life. We lie there, making out for a while. I can feel Tris wants to let it go further, and I usually wouldn’t object, but I know why she wants to and I feel that is not right if I take advantage of her in this state. She wants a distraction from everything.

After a while of kissing, I break the kiss and tell her that I am going to shower. She tells me it is fine and that she will be in the kitchen. I get everything I will need for my shower and head into the bathroom. I just stand in the shower and try to absorb all I have seen. After a few minute I realise that I have tears on my cheeks. 

Seriously?

I am never this emotional and don’t just cry for anything. After I try to mentally smack myself I realise why I am like this. When was the last time I was like this. 

Tris….

She is the only person that makes me feel anything and I realise that whenever she is gone, feels pain or any hurt, those are the times that I am like this. That I have these emotions in me that I still can’t fully understand. This last week and a half was the first time in nearly 3 years that I have felt anything this strong. I am usually just going with the motions of life - wake-up, work, eat, hang with the gang sometimes and sleep. 

I let the hot water calm my nerves and wash away the tears. As I am drying myself, I can hear Tris in the kitchen. I quickly get dressed and look in the mirror to see if my eyes are red. They aren’t at least and then I head to the kitchen. Looks like I was in the shower for a while, because I see she isn’t far from done with dinner. 

“You need any help?” I ask her as I enter the kitchen. 

“Shit, you scared me!” she shouts after she jumped a foot in the air and turns to me. 

“Sorry,” I say as I head to her and take her in my arms. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay, I am just a bit jumpy and I was deep in thought. I didn’t hear you finish.” she tells me, giving me a light kiss. “You can set the table if you want, this won’t take much longer.” she tells me, turning to the stove again. 

We finish our dinner and watch some tv. I can see Tris is trying hard not to sleep, she is blinking rapidly and her eyes are getting red. “Tris, try to get some sleep, please. You can’t stay awake forever. I will be here if you need me, I promise.” I whisper to her while standing up and picking her up bridal style. I switch the tv and light off and we head to the bedroom. 

“Okay,” she whispers, sleep already pulling her in. I am just as tired, but I think I am more mentally and emotionally tired that physically at this point. I know if I am going to close my eyes, I am going to dream about today and I need to be there Tris now. I lay awake for a while longer and feel sleep dragging me under. 

After a while, which felt like minutes, I am awaken to screaming. I first thought it might have been mine, because of the nightmare I was having. It wasn’t one of my best. After a few seconds, I get hit in the chest and kicked in the stomach. I am immediately pulled from my dream state to Tris screaming, crying and thrashing next to me. I jump up and try to wake her as gently, but fast as possible. 

“Tris, honey. Please wake up,” I whisper to her and I am shaking her. After a few second she wakes, screams and jumps off the bed, next to the dresser again. 

Déjà vu much? I think to myself. 

“Tris, It’s just me. Tobias. You are not in the Bureau anymore. You are safe, I promise they won’t hurt you again. Please see me,” I tell her as I try to go to her. She is really cowering in the corner and it breaks my heart even more. After a few seconds she looks at me and whispers, “Please help me Tobias.” 

I walk the last few feet and grab her in my arms. Holding her as she cries into my bare chest. After about half an hour, she looks up at me. I look into her tearstained face and feel her reach for my face, wiping my cheek. Tears.

Fuck.

Again?

Can’t I not cry for once. I hate feeling this weak. “It is okay Tobias, I am not judging you if you cry,” she whispers, her voice thick with all the crying she has done herself. We just stare into each others eyes for a while longer, her hand still on my cheek and me still holding her. 

I decide that the floor is much to uncomfortable, so I start to get up with Tris in my arms. She quickly goes into the bathroom to wash her face and get into bed again, me holding her waist. She turns to me and place one hand on my chest with the other around my middle. 

“Sorry I am such a wreck.” she whispers, turning her gaze from my face. 

“Please don’t be sorry, I understand and I am so amazed that you came out alive and can still be yourself, even after everything you have been through. I doubt that I would have had the will to survive everything,” I tell her truthfully. 

She looks at me again and I give her a kiss. “Try to get some sleep, I am here for you.” I tell her and cradle her closer to me. 

“I love you,” she whispers. I can’t keep the smile off my face as she says this. 

“I love you too, so much. Always have and always will.” I say to her. I can feel sleep pull me under again, and I go gladly, with Tris in my arms again.


	24. Distraction

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS M RATED. ONLY FOR SUITABLE VIEWERS - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !

Tris P.O.V.

I wake the next morning, feeling un-rested with being awake so late last night. I turn around to Tobias’ side of the bed and find it empty. Did he leave? I never asked him if he was going to work today. 

After a few minutes of listening, I hear him in the kitchen. I get up and quickly finish in the bathroom, trying to get ready as quickly as possible. I am gonna need something to keep me steady today. My mind is trying hard to go into the memories and I am struggling to keep them at bay. 

I get to the kitchen and see Tobias’ back to me. God, he is so sexy. How can someone like that really be interested in me? That is a question that I ask myself everyday. He is wearing a plain white shirt which shows of every muscle in his back as he is working. He hasn’t heard me yet, so I just get lost looking at him. He is so perfect. The abs, the muscles in his arms, the way he smiles, his full lips and his beautiful blue eyes. I stare a few more minutes and head into the kitchen. 

I wrap my arms around his waist, my one hand going under his shirt. I kiss him on his shoulder blade above his shirt. “Morning,” he says, with a hint of a smile in his voice. “Hey,” I say, biting my bottom lip. I want him. 

Now….

I let my hand under his shirt wander a bit lower to the strap of his pants. I can feel his breathing hitch as I do this. “Tris, I know why you want to do this, but it is not going to take everything away,” he tells me.

“I know, but I need and want you. Please”, I tell him, pleading clear in my voice. I feel his shoulder slump for a few seconds and my hand dipping into his pants a bit more. I am still holding him from behind and before I can register anything, he turns around and grabs me, picking me up and placing me on the kitchen counter. He starts kissing me hard. My lips are gonna be bruised after this, but I don’t care. He grips me tighter and I grab onto his back, pulling him closer to me. 

I bite his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He gives it to me and I start kissing him more. I forget everything else in this moment except him and that is what I want. This is what I want. Him.

I take off his shirt and our kissing just get hungrier. I can hear him moan as I place my one hand in his hair and the other on the bottom of his back, just above his pants. That moan send electricity through my body, I can’t get close enough to him fast enough. He takes my shirt off, leaving me in my bra. I don’t care how I look in this moment. He has told me before that he loves the way I look, and the way he kisses me now just proves it. I start to unzip his pants, all while still kissing him. 

He picks me up off the counter and start pulling my pants off, taking my panties with them. I drop his pants as he sets me back on the counter. I grip him so hard to me, I feel his hardness against me. It is making me wild in this moment. I grab his cock with my one hand, which is already making a dent in his boxers and try to take his boxers off with the other. He kisses me under my ear on my sensitive spot and I let out a moan. What this guy can do to me is incredible. What he did to me last time was beyond words. As he is giving me open mouth kisses across my collar bone, I can feel his one hand going to my bra to unclasp it and the other is moving to my thigh. 

I am still holding onto his cock, which is just getting harder by the minute. My bra is taken off and Tobias doesn’t waste time, which I am thankful for. I want him now. He takes my one breast in his mouth and it makes me absolutely crazy. I let out something between a moan and a growl. I am still trying to get these sensations under control. As I did this, he lightly bites my nipple and I grab him harder with my hand. The next second his other hand is on my sensitive spot, rubbing through my wet folds. I try to pull myself closer to him, but we are already as close as we can. He lays me down on the counter with my feet dangling off the one side. He pulls me closer and move my legs apart. Next thing I know, his head is between my legs.

He places one finger in me and starts licking at my sensitive spot while his other hand is holding me down. I am grateful for this as my body reacts without my mind now. He nips and sucks on my clit while he places another finger in me. 

What is he doing to me? 

My mind can’t think straight and the feelings I am having are indescribable. I grab his hair while he does this and moan without meaning to. It just feels so fucking good. He does this for a few more minutes and I can feel myself loose control. I am not going to last long and I can already feel myself building to that end. A few seconds later I explode, moaning and mumbling his name as shivers rock my body. He doesn’t let go, making this feel even more incredible. 

As I come down from my high, he pulls me up to him and kisses me. I kiss him back, asking for entrance as soon as our mouths touch. I can taste myself on him, but I don’t care. I want him. I move closer to him and take his cock in my hand, moving it towards my wet folds. I rub them there and I can feel and hear a moan coming from deep in him. He moves himself a bit closer and slips inside.

Fuck…

He slips his cock so deep in me, I loose the ability to think clearly for a few seconds. I grab his back with one of my hands while the other is still in his hair. He places his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to him as he starts rocking in and out of me. I place my feet around his waist, making him slip deeper into me. After a few more minutes of kissing, he moves his head to my neck and starts kissing my neck just under my ear. 

I try to grab my breath, but a moan escapes my mouth. I am still a bit new to this, but I decide to be brave and bold, so I decide to talk a bit dirty. My mind is already apart from my body, so I really don’t care at this moment. 

“Fuck me Tobias,” I whisper in his ear as he is still kissing my neck. He pulls away, shock written over his face for a few second, then back to lust. He grabs my waist harder and starts to move faster in me. The way he makes me feel in this moment, I don’t think about anything else. Just him being in me……

After a while of going like this, I feel that I am not going to last long. I grab Tobias’ face and kiss him, slipping my tongue in his mouth. A few more second I hear him whisper, “I am going to….” But before he can finish, I can feel him release in me. This only makes me more wild and I release a few seconds after him. In these few seconds, I forget my name, I forget everything. I am only in this moment, with this perfect man in front of me. We try to catch our breath, him still in me, me still holding on to him, my face in his neck and his in mine. 

“I love you,” I whisper in his neck, feeling shivers go through him. He gives me a kiss in the neck before answering, “I love you too.”

He slips out of me, my legs and body still feeling like jelly. He stands in front of me, just staring into my eyes, as I stare into his. 

After a few minutes he touches my cheek and says, “Let’s get cleaned up and try to have breakfast.” I can see a smile pull on the corners of his lips as he says this. He helps me from the counter and we go to clean up and have our breakfast.


	25. Missing

Tobias P.O.V.

Why do I get a feeling that something is gonna happen soon? I just have this feeling that I can’t shake and it is starting to make me feel on edge. We are busy with our breakfast and I am still smiling about our time before breakfast.

Wow, is all I can think. This was even better than before and I thought that it won’t get better than that. But with Tris, I am always surprised. She is one of a kind and that is what I love about her. She keeps me on my toes and I really missed that when I wasn’t with her these past 3 years. I really am a different person with her and I love the person I am. I had my time as Tobias in Abnegation, the shy and afraid little boy. Then I became Four, the dauntless with four fears that most was afraid of. I was fine being that person until Tris fell into that net. That is when I realise I can be more.

Then the war happened and I lost her, a piece of me lost with her. I really can’t even recognise myself then, I don’t know what I was. Then she came back, and now I know this is the person I want to be. To be the person she deserves and needs. After the war, everything has changed, but not my love for her. That is one thing that only grew stronger now than it was before.

I realise that both of us are quiet, but it is a comfortable silence. I peek at her and see her smile. I am guessing she enjoyed our little time too. I love to see a smile on her face, it makes me happy to see her happy. Even with all the chaos with The Bureau going on. Once I am done with breakfast, I clean up and turn to Tris, “I need to quickly go into the office to talk to Johanna. Do you want to come with?”

She looks at me with those beautiful eyes and answer, “I want to see Caleb again. I am going to phone him and ask him to meet me again. Will that be okay?”

“You don’t need my permission Tris. Of course you can see him, do you need me to wait till he comes or will you be okay?” I ask her.

“No, you go and do your work, I’ll phone him once I am done here and let him meet me here.” she says, giving me a smile.

“Okay,” I tell her, bending down and giving her a kiss. She deepens it and I don’t mind one bit. After a few minutes, she pulls away and smiles at me, “See you soon.”

“I love you, see you in a bit.” I give her another quick kiss and I head out the door. Locking it behind me. She has a key to let herself out. As I walk, I still can’t get that damn feeling to go away. I am deep in thought and realise that I never paid attention to where I was going until Robert greets me. I walked all the way to the office without thinking about it.

I go up, get my work done quickly with James’ help. I go to Johanna’s office and find out everything that it going on with the case. I also ask her to look into Jason for me, I really feel this has something more to it. She give me some good news about the case and can’t wait to tell Tris. I think she is going to be very happy. I head back out the office a few hours later, feeling better than I did before. But as I get closer to my apartment, the more uneasy I start to feel. By the time I get to the lobby, I am already running, a cold chill going down my spine. Before I get to my apartment door, I get the sense of Déjà Vu.

I get to the door and see it broken again.

Oh come on!!!!

Again? Please no. The previous time was torture, but this time I have a feeling that she isn’t going to stand in the doorway. I get into the apartment and see the coffee table turned and a few small things trashed, like someone was struggling. I head to the phone and pray that she is still with Caleb, but I am feeling sick to my stomach now. I dial his number, my fingers are shaking so bad, I had to try twice to get the number right.

He answers with his normal, “Dr Caleb Prior speaking.”

“Hi, it’s Four, is Tris with you now?” I ask, but I can already sense what his answer is going to be.

“Sorry, I was in a meeting when she phoned earlier, and we scheduled to meet up tomorrow morning, why is something wrong?” he asks me. “I am not sure, she isn’t at home, so I am just wondering where she is.” As I say this, something catches my eye under

the coach. “Caleb, just hold on a minute please.” I tell him, not listening to his answer. I head to the coach and see what caught my eye.

I nearly go ice cold as I pick the vial up. No, no, no, no. This is not happening. I head back to the phone and tell Caleb to get here as fast as possible and put the phone down. I never even said goodbye, or I don’t think I have. My mind is only on the vial in my hand, my head screaming and my body not working atm. I crumble to the ground with the vial in my hand. I already know what serum this is, even without Caleb’s opinion.

All I ask is that it didn’t work this time. I am sitting there, staring at the vial for so long, that I can hear someone run down the corridor to my apartment. A few minutes later Caleb comes around the corner. He is staring at me, trying to catch his breath. I think he might have tried to talk to me, but my mind is still on Tris. Why does everyone target her? And killing me in the process?

I feel someone’s hand on mine, only realising that Caleb is trying to take the vial by me. I look up at him and ask, “is it what I think it is?”

I see him stare at it, a tear on the corner of his eye as he whispers, “Yes. It is memory serum.”

I feel like someone just threw me in the Arctic Ocean and ran me over with a train. The feeling I have now, there is no explanation as to how it hurts. I would gladly take beatings from Marcus again. That hurt less than what this hurts. Someone got to Tris and injected her with memory serum. With all these thoughts, I forgot that Caleb was still here. His eyes have a few tears threatening to spill. I think mine already did at a feel wet on my arms, which is in my lap at the moment. I am not going to let anyone get away with this!

I get up and head to the phone again. I call Zeke, Amar and George as they are all on the police force. I tell them what happened. They tell me that they will try their best to look for her. I then contact Johanna and tell her the same. She said she will look into it and perhaps get an announcement out to anyone that sees or finds her, to have them contact the police. I feel a bit better with the knowledge that I am trying to look for her. Caleb has been so quiet that I forgot he was there.

He heads to the door with the vial and turns to me, “I am going to analyse this and get some answers. I will let you know if I find anything, will you please do the same?”

“Of course, if I find her, you will be the first to know.” I answer him truthfully. And with that he is gone. I decide that I can’t stay here and do nothing, so I grab my mobile phone and head out the door. Trying to find Tris, even if it’s the last thing I do.


	26. Weeks

Tobias P.O.V.

I am currently sitting in my living room just staring at the group. Everyone is here, trying to figure out what we are going to do next. 

Tris has been missing for 5 weeks now. 5 Weeks of absolute torture. Zeke, Amar and George are still looking for Tris through the police, Johanna through the government and me in the streets. In the 5 weeks, Caleb found that the serum was a new type of memory serum and he thinks that it will be a clean wipe, even for someone like Tris. I nearly killed Caleb when he told me that news. Zeke and Amar had to hold me so I didn’t rip someone’s throat out. 

At this time Christina was trying to make me get ready for the worst. I threw her out of my apartment when she suggested that. It is the first time that she is back here after that incident. I just sit there with the group around me. They are talking, but I can’t process anything atm. I have been a wreck, I know I have. I have been in the streets searching for her about 18 hours a day, only coming home to sleep for a few short hours and then head out again. Christina and Zeke have been forcing me to at least eat, without them, I think I might have forgotten to do the most basic things. 

The police can’t do much regarding her disappearance, as she is still pronounced dead to the government. We never thought to have her death certificate destroyed through all of this. If I get her back, that is the first thing that I will do. 

“Four!”, I hear someone scream. I am taken out of my thoughts and look around the room to the person that just called me. “What?”, I ask.

“Did you hear anything I said?” Matthew asks me. I look down at my lap and answer no. 

“I said, we have a strong enough case to start with the court case against the Bureau. With all the data from the machine and the vial evidence, we can start if you still want to.” he tells me.

“Yes, I need to find her, and they need to pay for this. I can’t take it anymore, they have ruined our lives so much already, if you think we can take them on, then do it.” I answer him truthfully. He just nods his head and they continue chatting. I go back to my thoughts. After a while I tell everyone that I need to leave. He tells me he will keep me up to date about all the proceedings etc. 

I greet everyone as they start to leave, Christina turns to me and says, “You need to get more that 3 hours of sleep per night Four. Please, you won’t be any help to her if you carry on like this. She might need you more that ever now.” With that she leaves. 

Wow, a week ago she told me to prepare for the worst and now she tells me there is still hope. Damn, woman are so confusing. I head to my room, get changed into comfortable walking clothes and head out the door. I have been leaving the door unlocked, just in case she comes back. She never took a key. I head into the streets of Chicago, it is afternoon already and I head to the last place we know Tris was. 

Johanna accessed the street camera's data just after Tris’ disappearance. We now know the Bureau never took her with them after they injected her. They just left her and with her memory gone, she wandered in the streets and there we lost her. I only have this one lead, so I have been retracing her steps and trying to figure out where she would have gone. I am guessing the Bureau only injected her to forget everything and perhaps test their new serum. 

I am aimlessly wandering the streets and alleyways, but still come up empty. I look into shops and ask around, but it is just as if she vanished into thin air. No-one has seen her. Johanna gave me extended time off at work, James is covering everything for me. She has helped me so much already, I will never be able to repay her. She has came to drop food off at my apartment a few times, making sure I eat. Between Christina and her, I never have to cook. Which is fine by me, I am not gonna waste time to cook when I can spend that time to looking for Tris. 

A while later I realise it is starting to get dark and the street lights and night entertainment starts. I don’t really care, I still search for her. I feels like I know every street and alleyway already with the time I have spent here. My heart is so heavy and it really hurts, but I try not to cry. I keep that for when I am alone, which I can feel might be tonight again. 

Why does all this happen just when I think that everything will get better? 

That me and Tris may have a future? 

Is the universe so against us being happy, that is needs to rip my heart out every time by taking Tris from me? 

All I ask is that I get one good thing in my life. Did I do such cruel things in my past that I am not allowed to be happy?

With these thoughts I head home as it is already one o’clock in the morning and I need to get a few hours of sleep so I can get up early and start my search again.


	27. Months

Tobias P.O.V.

I get woken up to my phone ringing. I look at the time and see it is ten am in the morning. How did I sleep so late? Why didn’t I wake up earlier? I get out of bed, rushing to my phone and answer it, “Hello”

“Hi, it’s me. We found her.” Johanna says. Those three words nearly have my world spinning upside down. I ask, “Wh..where?” stuttering in the process. I hope this isn’t a dream. Tris has been missing for two months now. “The coffee shop on the corner of Fifth and Central.” I say goodbye hastily and run to my room. I finish getting dressed in about five minutes. I look at myself in the bedroom mirror on my way out and realise I am a mess. I can’t even remember when last I shaved. I have a slight beard and dark circles under my eyes. I haven’t properly slept in weeks. 

I head into the busy morning traffic, on my way to where they saw Tris. I just hope she will remember me. I doubt it, otherwise she would have came back to me, wouldn’t she? As I head towards the coffee shop, which is about 10 blocks away, I think about the court case. Our case was quite strong and we are quite sure that Jason will be tried and sent to jail. They might even be able to shut down their whole lab section with the serum creations lab. 

Johanna told me she found some interesting stuff about Jason, but she is looking deeper and will let me know as soon as she knows more.

I was so happy when I heard that, wishing Tris was next to me so she would know as well. I just want to hold her in my arms again. These past two months have taken a toll on all of us, especially me. I have gone back to my old self, the intimidating closed off person I was in Dauntless before Tris came. I haven’t smiled or laughed once since she went missing. I am a block away now and can see the coffee shop on the other end of the corner. I start to slow down, scared of what I will find. 

I get close enough to it to look through the window. What I see nearly kills me. I stumble to a halt and just stare through the window. Tris, sitting with another guy. Her hair has grown back again a few centimetres. She just sits there and smile to the waitress that brought their coffee. I stare a few more minutes and decide that I will head inside. 

I get a table right next to them, wanting to hear what they talk about and if she remembers anything. I order a coffee and the waitress head off to go and make it. I stare at them, trying not to make it to obvious. He look about my age, or a bit older. Blond hair, decently dressed, not a suit like the corporate people, but nice. I stare at her and see she is in jeans and a jacket. Also neatly dressed. 

I try to make out some of their conversation, and just as I hear her say something, the waitress brings my coffee. I say thanks and she leaves, giving me the time to try and listen to them again. Tris speaks first and I feel my heart shatter. How I have missed that voice. That beautiful voice of her. 

“I don’t know yet Phillip. I am trying, but nothing seems to trigger anything. I might have to try and find a job soon. I can’t expect you to look after me for much longer. I need to figure everything out and soon. I have this baby on the way and I need to provide for him or her.” she says, I guess the guy’s name is Phillip. 

As I try to process everything she said, one word stands out more than the others, baby. Is she pregnant with this guy’s child? I feel my eyes burn and wipe away a stray tear. I can’t sit here much longer. She has moved on and is pregnant. 

“Lisa, you know you can stay as long as you like. I have more than enough space for both of you.” I hear Phillip say. 

I stand up and head to the door, but I pass Tris’ table on my way out. I take a quick look at her, and she stares back at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. I can see she doesn’t know who I am and this is killing me more that anything. Seeing her here, alive with someone else. I turn my head and head to the door before I break down right here in the coffee shop. I push myself into the busy streets, trying to hold myself together just long enough for me to get to my apartment. 

I am about 3 blocks away from the coffee shop when I hear someone scream. I take no notice until I can hear people complaining behind me, so I turn around and see Tris run down the street behind me, pushing people as she does it. “Hey,” she shouts again, waving her arm. I stop and turn completely toward her, waiting for her to catch up. Does she remember me? 

She comes to a halt in front of me, trying to catch her breath. After a few seconds, she looks up at me and asks, “Do I know you? You really look familiar to me.” 

I nod and say, “Yes, we have known each other for a few years.” I don’t want to say that we dated because that will break me even more. “How?” she asks, and before my logical mind can catch up with my body, I take her in my arms and pull her close. 

I can still feel the sparks when I touch her and I decide to kiss her and I try to put all my love in this kiss, just in case it may be the last time we share this and she goes back to Phillip. 

I pull away from the kiss and look at her. 

“I am so sorry, I had to do that once more,” I tell her. I can see in her face that she is trying hard to remember me. I miss the love that I could see in her eyes and just when I start to turn away from all this awkwardness, she looks at me again and whispers, “Tobias?”


	28. Back

Tobias P.O.V.

How can one word make my face light up? Make everything I have felt, just melt away? And yet that one word makes me want to fly.

“Tobias,” she said. I turn back to her and I can see a smile form on her face. We are still standing in the crowded Chicago street, just staring at each other. I take the one step back to her and crush my lips to hers again. She remembers me!! I am so happy in this moment. 

We kiss for a few more minutes when she pulls away. I look over her shoulder and see Phillip coming towards us. She sees me look at something and turns around. She gets another big grin on her face and takes a step towards him. Just before she leaves my side, she grabs my hand and pulls me with her. 

“Phillip, I would like you to meet Tobias, my boyfriend,” she tells him with a smile on her face. He extends his hand to shake mine. 

“Hello, so nice to meet you,” he tell me and turns back to Tris. “I am guessing something triggered your memory?”

“Yes. My name is Tris. People from The Bureau injected me with memory serum, that is why I couldn’t remember.” she tells him, holding my hand tighter. 

“Well I am guessing that it is his as well?” Phillip asks Tris. I am confused for a moment until she answers and looks at me. “Yes, it is our baby.”

My face lights up and I am just staring at her. It is my baby? She is pregnant with my child? But how? Then I remember our little kitchen scene and my smile spreads even bigger on my face. I grab her and hug her, giving her a kiss as well. We pull apart again and just hold each other. We both remember that Phillip is still standing there. Tris pulls away and goes to hug him. 

“Thank you so much for everything. You literally saved my life that day you found me. I can never repay you for what you did, but if you want, we can get together and catch up again. I really appreciate everything you did for me Phillip.” she tells Phillip. She gives him our address and phone number. 

“I am just happy that you got your memory back. I will phone you and then you guys can perhaps visit me. You know where I live, so you can stop by anytime you need anything.” he tells Tris. They hug again and I shake his hand. He turns to leave and Tris turns back to me. 

“Wow, I can’t believe that it worked.” she says. I raised my eyebrows at her and she answers my silent question, “Phillip brought me here the past few weeks to help me to see if something doesn’t trigger my memory.”

I grab her hand and we turn towards our apartment. As we walk, she takes her arm and places it around my waist. I will find out everything when we get to the apartment. I want to know everything that happened since she disappeared. While walking, I remember something. I grab my phone from my pocket and dial Johanna’s number. She answers on the second ring. 

“Hi, it’s me,” knowing Johanna will know who it is. 

“Did you find her?” she asks me. 

“Yes, I have and she remembers,” I answer her, while looking down at Tris, a smile spreading across my face. 

“I am so happy, I will let the guys know, so they can stop the search. I would like the full story when you are ready. Now go and take care of her,” she says. I thank her and put the phone down. 

I hold on to Tris as we enter our apartment building, pushing the door open to our apartment. I can see Tris raise her eyebrows to me. “I never locked it since you left, you didn’t take a key and I wanted you to be able to come in since I wasn’t home ninety percent of the time, if you should return.”

I usher her in and close and lock the door behind me. Now that she is her, I am not letting her out of my sight until the Bureau is taken down for everything. I am going to need to protect her and our baby. I will not loose them again. 

I set my keys and phone down and grab Tris and pull her onto my lap while sitting on the coach. She giggles and places her hands behind my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. I kiss her back and place my hands on her back, pulling her closer into me. 

We kiss for a while, then I pull away from her. I stare into her eyes and tell her, “I love you so much”

“I love you too,” She tells me, giving me a quick kiss. “I guess you want to know what happened?” she asks me.


	29. Tale

Tobias P.O.V.

I look at her and answer, “Yes.”

“Okay, let me start from the beginning, that of which I can remember anyway. I was here, you left already for work and I was busy making myself some coffee when I heard a knock at the door. I went to open it and I recognized one of the people as the one guard from The Bureau. I panicked, and shut the door in his face. Before I know what is happening, they broke the door down. I tried to put up a fight, but they were 4 guys. Before I know what is happening, I get injected in the neck. After that everything goes kinda blurry.” she tells me, catching her breath. 

“I guess is was memory serum, because I couldn’t remember anything, not my name, why I was in this apartment, nothing. After a while, I wandered out the apartment and into the streets. Kind of stupid, I know. But I wasn’t myself and didn’t know what was going on.” she continues. 

I just look at her, she still sitting in my lap. “Anyway, I wandered a bit and I didn’t realise that I wandered too far into the street. I started panicking and a truck came at me. I didn’t react fast enough and would have been killed if it wasn’t for Phillip. He saw me and ran at me, pushing me out the way. He saved my life in that second. A complete stranger risked his life for someone he didn’t know.” she says, looking at me again. 

I feel so bad, I will never be able to thank this guy. He saved the most important person in my life. 

“After he saved me, he asked why I tried to kill myself. I told him I didn’t and I can’t remember who or where I am. He took me to his home and helped me. He was very kind. He never tried anything and after a few days he decided to bring me back to the scene to try and help me get my memory back. After about 4 weeks or so I started to feel sick every morning. He took me to the doctor, where I found out I was pregnant.” she tells me. I can see a tear on her cheek. I take my hand and wipe it away, trying to hold her closer to me. 

“By this time I was really panicking. I was carrying someone’s child and I didn’t even know who’s. He helped me by taking me everyday to where he found me and we just wandered around, trying to see if I can’t remember anything. The worst is, I walked past this building twice.” she says, tears are streaming down her face now. “I didn’t even recognise it Tobias. I was so afraid that I was going to be alone with a child, no memory of who I was before.”

“Then today we decided to make a quick stop at the coffee shop before we start again. And then you walked past our table and I just looked at you and it felt like I knew you. I saw your face, I could see you knew who I was, but trying hard to hide it. I could see the hurt in your eyes, and it took me by surprise that I could see such emotions from you and not from others.”

“So you left the coffee shop and I told Phillip that I needed to go after you. I ran out to find you, hoping that I would find you again and...... yeah, that is where we met in the street.” she tells me. She swifts and looks at me, “I have a few questions to ask you and I want a honest answer please.” I give a faint nod. 

“How did you find me? I doubt that you just wandered into that coffee shop. Why did you leave the coffee shop and me, even though you knew it was me? Why did you just walk away without talking to me?” she asks. I knew this question will come up, but I hoped it wouldn’t. How am I going to answer this?

I look at her and take a deep breath. I turn my eyes to hers and answer, “I guess I need to give you answers now. The day you disappeared was bad for me. I just found out you never met Caleb and while I was on the phone with him I found a vial under the couch. Caleb later confirmed it was memory serum. I had Zeke, George and Amar search for you through police channels. Johanna did through official government channels and she could also get traffic camera videos. I was searching for you on foot everyday. I haven’t been to work in 2 months, that’s how long you were gone.”

I take another breath and continue, “In this time, we made the case against the Bureau. Jason is most likely going to jail for life. They might also close the labs down. Anyway, this morning one of Johanna’s contacts found you on a traffic cam going into that coffee shop. She phoned me and I left as soon as I could. When I got there, I saw you and some guy. My heart broke.” I try to pull air into my lungs as I remember how I felt in that minute. My chest hurts....

“I went in and listened into some of your conversation. Then I heard something that nearly ripped my heart out......... you were pregnant. I thought it might have been his. I didn’t think in that moment, just that I had to get away before I break down in the coffee shop.”

I look into her eyes and say, “I really am very sorry. I though that you might have moved on with this guy and I couldn’t let you see how much it hurt me.”

She touches my cheek and answer, “There will never be anyone else. I love you, please remember that.”

She gives me another kiss and I kiss her back with such love. I need to make this girl mine. I need to remove any threat against her and our baby and then I have to ask her to marry me. That will be my goal in this life. Make Tris as happy as possible, because if she is happy, then I am happy. 

I love her so much. I pull away from the kiss and ask her, “Are you okay with having another baby?”

She looks at me and thinks for a few minutes before answering, “It is yours and that is all that I want. To be able to have your kids and no-one else's. So yeah, I am okay with this, if you are.”

I give her a big grin and say, “Yes, I am. We will get through this together. I love you and I can’t imaging my life without you or our child growing inside you.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon talking about everything that happened and our future. I am going to have a future with this beautiful woman in my arms.


	30. Changes

Tobias P.O.V.

Over the past few weeks, I have been waking up to Tris in the bathroom, bent over the toilet. This pregnancy is taking a lot out of her and I hate seeing her like this. She is nearly four months pregnant now and I don’t let her go anywhere without me. The case with The Bureau is coming to an end as well. It is really looking good as Tris could identify some of the men who broke into the apartment and they were linked to Jason and The Bureau. That made it even stronger. 

Johanna had a meeting with me and Tris just after she returned and we found out that Jason was family of David’s. He wasn’t originally part of her kidnapping and faked death, but he came in just after. When he heard they had Tris, and Tris was the one that was in the lab with David, he blamed her for what happened. In the end I was right as to this being more than just testing on her divergence. 

I went to the home affairs office and retracted Tris’ death certificate. So now the baby can have a proper birth certificate, not one where the mother is supposed to be dead. The gang was happy when I told them that Tris is back, Christina broke down when she saw her. I have been debating on asking Tris to marry me and the urge is getting stronger by the day. I am now on my way to the jewelrystore, Tris is with Christina at her apartment. I asked her to help me for a few hours, she was more that willing to get Tris for herself. I have been hovering over Tris a lot since she got back. 

Christina has been helping Tris so much over this time to work out her feelings and emotions with everything that was going on. The memory loss didn't lay much weight on her, but I needed her to get over everything that went on over the time since she was taken by the Bereau. She didn't want to see a professional, so the best was a friend and Christina was willing to just chat and help where she can. 

But with all the people going to or in jail already, the threat against her has minimized Caleb has also been hovering and visiting much more, sometimes when I am at work. I think he is doing the same as me, not leaving her alone for long.

As I enter the store, I start scanning the rows of rings. I know Tris by now to know that she would like something simple. Abnegation is still apart of her and I love her for it. I can’t wait to start my life with her and our baby. We will be finding out the sex of the baby in two days. Something catches my eye and I see a plain gold band with a single diamond in the middle. Plain, but beautiful.

I ask to see the ring and find it perfect. I buy it and head out into the cold streets of Chicago again. I have also been looking for some homes, and have a few in mind. Christina and Johanna are trying to help me with nursery stuff as well. I don’t want Tris to worry about anything. As I walk down the street, the one estate agent phones me and lets me know that the one house I asked about for earlier is available. We chat a bit and she tells me that I can go and see it now. The people that was interested in it doesn’t want it anymore. I grab a train and text Christina to let her now that I will be longer. 

I head out of the main city and into the suburbs of Chicago. The whole city was just about rebuild over the past few years. I get off the train and head to the house. It is a beautiful 3 bedroom house, kitchen, office, sitting room, dining room and yard. It is build from this beautiful stone and has wooden panels and floors. I really love it and has been one of my favourite homes I have looked at. I enter and talk to the agent and take one last look around before signing the papers. 

I know Tris will love it here. I finish everything with the agent and get the keys. I phone Johanna to tell her which house I got and ask if she can start with the nursery. Zeke, Shauna and Christina already knows what to do with the rest of the house. They are doing this for Tris and I couldn’t be more happy. We have this group of friends that will do anything for each other and I can’t be happier, as long as Tris is next to me. 

I head back to Christina’s to get Tris, the ring in my pocket. I am planning to ask her to marry me at the doctors office. I already spoke to him, so he will leave once he tells us the baby’s sex. I know it is unconventional, but I think that is where I would love to have her answer, with our baby on the screen with us. 

I get to Christina’s and Tris is in the bathroom, so I whisper Christina the address of the house and hand her the keys. She smiles at me and I see Tris come to the door. She has a huge smile on her face, so I am guessing she and Christina had a good time. 

“Hey beautiful,” I whisper to Tris as I snake my hand around her waist to kiss her. She is already showing and she looks even more beautiful like this. It looks like she is glowing and I smile every time I see her. I am so in love with this woman that I don’t have words. I just hope all the bad is behind us so we can start our future. I want to call her mine and live a life with her. 

“Hi” she whispers in my ear after she pulls away from the kiss. It sends shivers down my spine. We greet Christina and she winks at me. We head to the station and go to the apartment. I am not calling it home as it is not. We will hopefully head to our home in a week or so. I can’t wait for everything to be done so we can move in. Between the ring, home, furniture and baby stuff, it has cost a lot of money. But luckily I never used any of it before Tris came back, so it made all this easier. I could afford everything I wanted and I don’t regret it for one minute. 

We get to the apartment and Tris enters first. I go in and turn to lock the door. When I turn back to face the inside of the apartment, I feel myself get slammed into the door and lips on mine. I kiss back eagerly, knowing where this will lead in a short while. Tris told me that this pregnancy has left her wanting me more and more. I am not complaining though. She is my love and I will do anything for her. She moves her hand under my shirt and pulls it off. 

From there we move into the bedroom and things just escalate. I love where my life is heading and for the first time in a long time, I am not scared.


	31. Question

Tobias P.O.V.

Today is the day. 

The day that I get to find out if we are having a boy or girl. The day I will be proposing to Tris. I am a bit nervous, that is to be expected, but I can’t be happier. I get to wake up next to Tris every morning; I get to see how she is carrying our baby. 

She couldn’t get more beautiful than she is now. I wake to see Tris stare at the wall, her back against my chest and her hands holding my arm draped around her waist. “Morning,” I whisper, giving her a kiss on her cheek. 

“How long have you been awake?” I ask her. She turns so she can look into my face. “Just a couple of minutes and good morning to you too.” she answers and gives me a peck on the cheek. “I want to go take a quick shower, then I can start breakfast while you get ready” she tells me. I know I can’t argue, so I just say okay. She stands up and leaves for the bathroom. 

I look and see the door closed. I rush to the one little side table and take the ring out. I look at it for a few minutes and decide to get dressed. I take the ring out of the box and place it in my pants pocket, I can’t keep it in the box she will notice it. I hear her finish in the bathroom and a few minutes later I hear the door creak open. Her hair is still wet and she is trying to dry it a bit more. She smiles at me as she sees me standing there. 

I head to the bathroom and finish up and head to the kitchen. Tris just made some eggs and toast, which is fine as my stomach is starting to make flip-flops. I hope she says yes, I will die if she doesn’t. I need her in my life, I need her as I need air and I won’t be able to live without her. I had to do it twice now, even if the second time was only for 2 months. 

We have breakfast and head out into the city, me holding her hand. “What do you want?” she asks me.

"What do you mean?" I ask her looking into het beautiful face. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asks. 

"I don't really care as long as he or she is healthy." I answer her. She looks at me and smiles. We continue to the doctor’s office and wait for our appointment. After a few minutes we are told that we can head into the doctor's office. 

Tris is told to lie on a table and I stand next to her holding her hand. The doctor and nurse start their examination and I feel my pocket to make sure that the ring is still there. He then tells us that everything seems in order and if we would like to know the sex. He is just asking this as Tris doesn't know what I am about to do. 

She looks at me and turns to the doctor as says yes. He moves the wand thing over her stomach and the next moment we see our baby fully on the screen next to him. "Congratulations, you are having a baby girl" he informs us. I can see Tris has tears running down her cheeks.

The doctor and nurse quietly slips out of the room and I know it is now my time. I go down on one knee and pull the ring from my pocket. Tris turns around and finds me on the floor on one knee. She looks at me and gasps.

"Tris, when you first fell into that net, I didn't know what was going on with me. But when I looked into your eyes I knew that something in me changed. Through the months of the war I just fell more in love with you. Then you were taken from me. I could never get over you and never thought that I will love again. 

When I found you in that street, my world collapsed. Seeing you infront of me, I thought someone was playing a sick joke on me. I loved you all this time and holding you in my arms that day, I can't even describe how I felt. With everything going on since then, my only thought was that I love you and can't imagine my life without you."

I take a deep breath and ask, "So I ask you now, will you make me the happiest man alive and become my wife. Will you marry me?"

"Yes" she whispers. I jump up and give her a hug, feeling tears on my cheeks. I am so happy right now. I turn to the monitor and say, "Do you hear that baby girl, mommy said yes" I take Tris' hand and place the ring on her finger. My life is now complete. 

Through everything that I have gone through as a child and with all the factions, meeting Tris and then the war, I can say that today is the happiest I have ever been. I have a baby girl on the way with the most beautiful woman on the planet and I am happy.


End file.
